Cry of the Phoenix
by steelguardsexual
Summary: The plan's been set and the actors are in place. Lightning has waited nearly half a century for the day of Ultima's return and her own death. But her plan has one very, very mad flaw. Finale to Eternally Cursed; collaboration with The Giant Daifuku.
1. Part One

If you've read **Starstruck Bromance**, mainly the parts from **Eternally Cursed**, then you should know what this story's all about. If not, go read that, because this will be terribly confusing if you haven't yet. This is the finale to **Eternally Cursed**, though Mu and I still have some ideas that happen before this. There are some major differences between this and **Time's Scar**, but some things have remained the same. ;)

* * *

><p>"Lady Claire, what are you doing up there in that tree? Napping, at a time like this?"<p>

Lightning bit back a yawn as she pushed herself up from the thick branch, blinking back the remnants of a Sleep spell from her eyes. Blonde braid hanging over her shoulder, Agrias smirked at the squire and sighed deeply, more so amused with Lightning than angry with her. Somewhere off in the distance, back at the camp, Ramza was having a heated argument with the elder of their group, Cidolfus; something about who would lead the party to Dorter come morning.

"It's only dusk, Agrias," Lightning drawled as she peered around the decaying tree. "It's quite nice up here, actually. Amazing how easily you can block out noises from camp at this height."

The holy-knight laughed faintly. "Well, come down soon. We're just about to set up watches, and I'd rather not have Cidolfus worry over you again. Three nights of not sleeping in a row can't be well for your health."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Lightning settled back down against the massive trunk of the tree, folding her arms behind her head. With only four members in their party, it was much more difficult to travel around each city and countryside. Heretics, they were, and for that they were hunted like beasts. It was a hard life, yes, but she was used to it. All her life she'd been running from something, and now she was ready to face it. Only a few more weeks, and then everything would be over.

She was afraid of what was to come, seeing Ultima again and defeating her. But there were many things she looked forward to: Ragnarok was in Ivalice again, calling himself the Serpent Bearer; and Balthier promised to visit again. He hadn't said when, though, so Lightning was feeling rather impatient.

Lightning had made sure to follow the same path she had previously. She joined the Order and became a squire, fought Delita and lost, joined up with Ramza and Agrias, and found Cidolfus again. The Virgo Stone and Alma were in the hands of the Lucavi, but Lightning knew that wouldn't remain so for much longer. After all, the gods had failed many times before.

"I suppose I better head back to camp," Lightning mused. "Can't have Cidolfus worrying over me again..."

When she rejoined the others, she wasn't surprised to see Ramza pouring over a high selection of wanted posters. The one that really caught her eye was her poster: the Phoenix. Lightning glanced down at her brown and silver squire uniform, somewhat disappointed she no longer had her crimson trench coat. Alma had been wearing it when she was captured by Wiegraf Folles.

"Anything interesting?" Lightning asked, sitting herself beside Agrias.

"Your bounty's been raised again," Ramza said almost cheerfully. "Nearly a million gil for your head, Lady Claire. I suppose it is a good thing you're immortal, or else it would be much harder for you to avoid bounty hunters."

"There is one bounty you might be interested in," Agrias said as she handed over a crumpled piece of paper. "The Godless Thief has been running amok near Dorter. He's like you, isn't he?"

Lightning had to grin when she saw the crude sketch of a fanged hume-like creature. "I once thought that too, but he and I are very different. I can't help but wonder why he's suddenly interested in auracite, though." She touched the piece around her neck. "Although, magicite like that is what brought us together in the first place."

"So you _do_ know him?" Cidolfus laughed heartily. "Phoenix, my dear, how many more secrets are you keeping?"

"Not as many as before. Would it be all right if I went after this Godless Thief tomorrow, Ramza?"

Ramza shrugged. "You're not bound by any chains here, Lady Claire. Just be careful when dealing with this...er, man. He sounds dangerous."

"Trust me, I know who I'm dealing with."

* * *

><p>Lightning climbed out of the gangly window with a heavy sigh, peering over the edge and gazing down at the long distance to the road. A few rats here and there, as well as a decent amount of flies, but there weren't any signs of hume-life wandering the streets at this time of day. She gripped the side of the railing and pushed herself away from the windowpane, allowing her feet to dangle a few moments before dropping to the street. Her armored boots made a sudden clanking noise against the rock, echoing the sound for awhile afterward. Lightning rested her hand idly against one of the buildings, leaning her head in the crook of her arm.<p>

There were voices just across the way, whispering about setting traps and capturing a "monster so fierce it scared even the bravest of knights". Well, at least she was in the right place. She'd have to remind Balthier not to get so carried away when scaring humes out of their wits, especially ones with swords and guns.

"Time to move," she told herself and quickly dashed around the corner. In the distance she could hear a heartbeat thumping excitedly, while another was slow and content. There were others there, but Lightning had more difficulty in hearing the hearts of others than Balthier. He tried teaching her once before, but she had so much of a hard time that she punched him out of frustration. He stopped teaching her afterward.

There! The headhunters were hiding in numerous spots, all preparing their weapons for when the Godless Thief would arrive and take the bait. Lightning paused, staring apprehensively at her surroundings. _What bait?_ From what she could see, there were no carts or boxes of auracite lying around, nor were there any sickly humes standing around. If there was no bait already, then—

"Get 'er, men!"

Lightning spun in time to block the nearest sword with her arm, ignoring the faint stinging pain erupting from her elbow. Her gunblade was drawn in an instant, cutting down the headhunter and turning toward the others. One, two, three, four, five, six—well, there were more than she expected, at least. Lightning poised herself for battle and smirked, motioning for the men to come forward.

The first one dove for her as if he were a beggar after a scrap of food, and she easily rendered him unconscious by slamming her boot against his head. The second one wasn't as foolish; he managed to scrape her arm before he was defeated. The third, however, was as tactical as her and held her at gunpoint. She froze, staring at the pistol with fearful eyes.

"S'no need to fret, missy Phoenix," he said with a false grin. "We jus' need you to sit down an' be patient, tha's all. We know you an' tha' Godless Thief have got somethin' goin' on. He'll come to your rescue, he will."

A shadow overcame them from behind, and Lightning smirked widely. The headhunter collapsed when something whacked him on the neck, falling with a gasp of "dammit!". Balthier stood behind him, cracking his knuckles.

"Too right," he chimed rather happily. "One of these days you and your little friends should learn not to pester me."

The headhunter holding a spear was both startled and stunned, backing up with the rest of the group. "It's him!" he stammered, teeth chattering. "Th-the Godless Th-thief!"

"Now that we've dispensed with the pleasantries, tell me where we might find the Cache of Glabados."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Always for the theatrics, aren't you?"

Balthier only shrugged. The headhunters refused to comply and were easily dispatched, and as they ran off like a pack of skittish chocobos, he started laughing. This time it wasn't the Madness, just his carefree laugh that Lightning hadn't heard in years. Lightning was briefly overwhelmed with relief and embraced him, nearly knocking him over with a hug that rivaled that of Snow. Balthier returned her embrace hesitantly, wrapping his pleasantly warm arms around her and resting his chin atop her head.

"What? No jaw breaking and head spinning punch from you this time?" he asked.

"If that's what you really want..." she warned, smiling as she moved away from him.

He shook his head fervently. "I think I'll wait until I've done something a bit more brash for that." He glanced over her shoulder to the retreating men, a smirk sneaking about his lips. "Can't stay out of trouble with men, can you?"

"I was handling things well enough for a while, actually. I was just...momentarily distracted. Caught off guard."

"Is that what they're calling it nowadays? Admit it, Light, you're getting rather daft in your old age."

She scoffed. "Keep up with that kind of talk and you'll get that punch you long for so much." Lightning sheathed her gunblade and eyed Balthier, making sure everything was all right with him. He seemed be faring better than usual, though she figured that Madness had recently had dinner judging by the strong tawny color of his skin. Balthier raised an eyebrow at her, crossing his arms.

"You know how much I hate it when you hide things from me."

"You're worse than Fang; always bothering me." Lightning turned away and almost started walking in the other direction. She kept her feet firmly in place, however. "I don't like seeing guns raised against me. They...they remind me too much of Mustadio."

Balthier's gaze softened. "The pup's not here, is he?"

Lightning shook her head. "You could have told me that you didn't have heirs, you know. I'd forgotten you were a lot more dedicated to Fran than my Balthier was." She paused, realizing her slip. If Balthier discovered the truth—the Madness wouldn't be very happy with her. "Where is Fran, by the way?"

"Waiting for us just outside the city. We should quit this place anyway—can't have any more bounty hunters tailing us, can we?"

* * *

><p>The group's reaction to Balthier's arrival was less kind this time around. Ramza immediately drew his broadsword and threatened to behead the sky pirate, while Agrias started casting a Holy spell under her breath. Lightning had to assure them that Balthier wouldn't dare betray them, though she wasn't exactly sure of that herself. As long as the Madness was kept under control, then perhaps there wouldn't be any problems for the remainder of their journey.<p>

"Two undead beings, a holy-knight, a mercenary-turned-knight and the Thunder God..." Agrias muttered as she stared into the campfire that night. "What an odd arrangement we have."

"It could be worse," Lightning said quietly, watching Balthier fiddle with his cuffs and finding it very hard to resist telling him to stop. "I once traveled with a gang of sky pirates that were only children. And then the Queen, her knight, and a fool joined the fray."

Balthier gave her a cat-like grin. "That fool wouldn't happen to be dear old Ice, would it?" he asked.

"Do we know any other fools?"

Ramza glanced up from where he was polishing his sword. "So you, too, are from Old Ivalice?"

"I've lived here in Ivalice for a long time, though not as long as Light here. Nearly going on fifteen-hundred, aren't you?" Balthier nudged her in the side, earning a stoic glare in response.

"Watch it," she snapped. "Just because I didn't punch you before, doesn't mean I won't now. And for your information, I've lost count of how old I am."

"Hm. And here I thought you kept track of these things..."

Thankfully Cidolfus changed the subject. "We're heading down below the ground tomorrow," he said with pride. "My dear Phoenix is convinced that the Gemini Stone is hidden beneath Goug, and she's quite certain no man has gained its power just yet."

"Zalera needs two humes to possess; one for himself and one for his shamaness," Lightning added. She remembered it well: Fang and Vanille were the unfortunate ones who came across the Stone and took its power for their own. "If we're lucky, none of us are attuned to the Stone. I'd hate to see any of us end up like Delacroix or Wiegraf..."

"And with the Gemini Stone, we're one step closer to finding Alma," Ramza murmured. "Perhaps if Zalera has been awakened, we can convince him to join our fight against the Lucavi."

Balthier growled faintly, making Lightning send him a warning look. "The undead are not so easily tamed like whimpering pets, boy," he said sourly. "You would do well to understand that. Zalera is no pushover; he'll be ready to claim Light and I as his slaves should he sense our presence."

"As I've warned them, all they need to do is hit us with some Holy." Lightning ran a hand through Balthier's hair, hoping to calm him down. His shoulders became less tense, and he slouched. "Granted, that might hurt us a lot more than it seems, but at least then we won't try killing anyone."

After deciding on watches for that night, the group departed into their respective tents and readied themselves for bed. Lightning curled up beneath the blankets of her bed mat, watching Agrias untangle her braid. The blonde was staring off into open space, humming quietly to herself as if no one else was in the tent. It wasn't until Lightning was ready to cast Sleep on herself that she spoke up.

"That sky pirate," she said, "he's quite strange. I half-expected him to look more like a rabid fiend than a charming young man."

"Balthier is one of a kind," Lightning answered. "But don't tell him I said that."

"You two must be very close. It's almost as if your presence calms him."

Lightning closed her eyes. Of course she had to be the one to tame the Madness; with Fran gone, Balthier would surely lose his mind completely. "I'm the only one he has left. If I were gone, I don't know what would happen to him. I'm almost afraid to think that, if I weren't here, he'd be worse off than he already is."

Agrias lowered her brush and looked at Lightning with concern. "So the rumors are true? All those wanted posters?"

"I can't say. That's up to him to decide." She rolled over, blocking out the rest of the world and finally going to sleep.

* * *

><p>But her sleep did not last long.<p>

Lightning awoke to the feeling of someone roughly shaking her shoulder, and saying in a panicky voice, "Lady Claire! There is something strange outside the tent!" Worried that it was the Madness coming out to play, Lightning grabbed her gunblade and moved for the tent door, only to freeze in place. Was that Balthier talking? No—he should have known better. But he _didn't_ know better, because he wasn't aware that Fran wasn't truly there.

"You said your sky pirate is one of a kind," Agrias whispered to her, "and I think you're right."

They leaned closer to the cloth wall, moving past the crickets chirping and chocobos squawking outside. Lightning held her breath (breathing was a habit she never learned to quit) and listened.

"—shouldn't have to deal with children again, Fran. Light knows how much I despise them. If that Ramza whelp crosses the line _one more time_, I'll..." A pause, then a false-laugh. "I'm only sharing my opinion, Fran; no need to fret so much. I promised Light that I wouldn't have any of her friends for dinner. And even though he isn't directly related to the Princess and her fool in this world, his blood probably tastes vile like Baknamy blood."

Agrias frowned, reaching for her sword beneath the blankets. But Lightning grabbed her arm and shook her head.

"I'm not surprised that Light is apt on keeping secrets from me. She's disappointed that she doesn't have her machinist this time around. She hasn't mentioned how he died yet, anyway." Balthier sighed, listening to empty words. "No—not right now, Fran. I made Light a promise. Why are you so set on having me feed this soon?" Silence. "Worried about Zalera, are you? I know what can happen should he control my mind. I've faced him before, remember? I do hope Light knows what's she's getting herself into, though. She seems rather out of it these days, and—"

Lightning pulled back, settling down in her bed mat and shutting her eyes. Agrias followed in suit, still holding onto her sword even while sleeping contently.

* * *

><p>"Remind me again why I agreed to come along with you," Balthier groaned as he walked beside Lightning through the ruined city below Goug. The others had gone off ahead after he warned them that there were others in the area as well, most likely scavengers mooching for loot.<p>

"Why can't you just admit that you've missed being warped between worlds?" Lightning asked, smirking. "At least with me, you're not running around as a skeleton in the middle of the night. Speaking of night: you and...Fran were up late."

"Were we? Time waits for no one, you know. Might as well waste it while we can."

"If time waits for no one, then what does that leave for us?"

Balthier lips parted as if he were to answer her, but the frantic voice of Ramza caught their attention.

"Wait, you don't know what that Stone can do!" he yelled. "If you hold it, it will—"

A stunning, black beam of light shot up a short distance away, and Lightning was running toward it before she even understood what it meant. Balthier wasn't too far behind, but she wasn't too worried about him for the time being. When they found the other three, Zalera was floating over them like a looming figure resembling Death itself. Cidolfus has his greatsword out already, and Ramza was busy protecting Agrias, who had been struck down in the blast. Balthier went rigid at the sight of the Lucavi, glancing all around for who he thought was Fran.

Zalera's skeletal face leered at Lightning and Balthier, sharp teeth glittering like diamonds. The shamaness grafted into his wing giggled with a whistling shrill, and Lightning found herself unable to control her thoughts. She could feel herself falling deeper and deeper into an abyss of darkness, claws scratching at her ears and trying to rip her apart. The sounds—the cries! It was all too much!

"_Here dying, join my legion of undeath_," Zalera's deep voice spoke amidst the darkness. "_Your blood, the roses on unhallow'd graves!_"

It was worse than before: losing control of her body and mind. Her soul felt like a weak flame, flickering in the shadows as if its light would fade at any given moment. She was afraid of what had become of Balthier, that he, in a fit of insanity, had given into Zalera's will and would kill her companions. Lightning struggled against the darkness, pulling at her soul to keep moving forward. It was like she was running up an endless flight of stairs, her leg muscles stinging at the strain of moving, up, up, up.

And then, like a ball of glowing light, she found herself. Lightning could see again, see herself fighting with her undead brethren against the humes. Squinting, she searched for Balthier amongst the chaos. There! But he was not slinking around the skeletons, toward the hume flesh so close to him. No, he was running right toward her!

"_What is this? So easily you resist my will!_" Zalera clenched his bony fingers in anger. "_Changed, you have, mad one! Yet you cannot face your own kind, can you? You hide from the truth. Nay, she is not yours to claim!_"

Lightning saw Balthier's silver eyes flash in her direction, and with a sharp motion he was pinning her to the ground, clutching her throat with the intent of ripping it out. Without control over her body, it was like watching herself die over and over again. But she couldn't die, and neither could Balthier. Lightning felt Zalera's will pull at her mind, forcing her to retaliate. She flung Balthier off and across the cave, but he landed on all fours, snickering with delight.

Panic rising, Lightning could only feel herself run toward Balthier and pierce her gunblade into his chest. Black blood splattered like paint, staining her armor and his vest. Balthier bit at her neck, and though she couldn't directly feel it, it still stung her soul. Her _soul_—the Madness was after her soul. It wanted to protect her, too, and the only way to do that was to—

"_Away from her, fiend!_" Zalera bellowed over the cries of battle. "_Begone! She is mine!_"

Zalera forced Lightning to drag herself away from Balthier, but he was too quick. Snap! Her neck cracked like a gunshot and she collapsed, laying on the ground like an unwanted rag doll. He was crouched over her in an instant, hands holding her face and silver eyes staring into sky blue. He was studying her, memorizing her face before he ate her soul. Fingers stroking her cheeks, she waited for the death that had fled from her all these years, teasing her each time her soul drifted away for even a moment. Yet even now, death would not come.

Balthier dropped to the dirt when a flash of Holy flew at him, toppling to the side with a mangled cry. He lay there with glassy eyes staring into blank space, and Lightning longed to reach out and hold him close, to keep him away from the Madness. Time passed, minutes lasting longer than they should. Soon Cidolfus was bent over Lightning, casting dark magick to heal her broken neck.

"Time for the Phoenix to rise," he breathed when she came to. Zalera was nothing more than wisps of Mist in the cave, and Agrias was clutching the Gemini Stone in her trembling hands. Not too far away, Ramza was pulling a disheveled Balthier to his feet.

"That better be the last time I come across that damned esper," Balthier moaned, rubbing his eyes. "Let's destroy that Stone and let him get a taste of his own medicine."

Lightning was shivering as she stood, using Cidolfus' shoulder as a balance. Keeping her eyes on the Stone, Agrias walked forward and bit her lower lip, uncertain and confused. "I would much rather bury this than destroy it completely," she said. "Ramza, I hope we won't come across any more Stones. Those scavengers had no idea that...that they would become such a horrifying creature."

"We'll return to camp and rest for the night. We can figure out what to do in the morning," Ramza answered boldly. "I'm sure Lady Claire and the sky pirate would much rather leave this place than stay any longer."

* * *

><p>The flames quivered in the fire pit, fading in and out with each gust of gentle wind blowing against the camp. Ramza and the others had gone to bed, retreating to the dreams in hopes of finding peace and solace; something Lightning desired all her life. Instead she found pain, sorrow and loneliness. Even with Balthier sitting across from her, now, she had never felt so alone.<p>

"I am sorry for earlier," Balthier said, breaking the sound of silence. "Zalera must have held a grudge since I fought him last with the humes from Earth. But taunting the Madness? That is terribly low, even for the seraph of death..."

Lightning refused to meet his eyes. "I thought you had it under control," she snarled gently. "After all this time, I thought you knew how to keep that...that _thing_ on a leash."

"You know I can't do that, Light. The Madness is stronger than you believe, stronger than I want to believe." He sighed, resting his cheek in his palm. "I digress: at least we've gotten rid of yet another god. And this time you didn't have to watch your friends die with it."

"_I_ almost died, Balthier. That thing almost killed me. It almost ate my _soul_. You told me that if it ever did that, I'd no longer be here."

"Isn't that what you've always wanted? To depart the mortal plain?"

"Not like that."

Silence overcame them like an itchy and uncomfortable blanket. Lightning continued to watch the flames totter across the logs, burning them until they were nothing more than embers drifting into the sky. She wondered if she, someday, would become embers of flames, flying away into freedom. She was called Phoenix, so where was her fiery death?

"Tomorrow I want to visit Ragnarok," she finally announced, startling Balthier out of whatever trance he was in. "He's in Midlight's Deep. It's been years since I visited him and Lindzei last, and he's probably wondering where I've been."

"You don't need to clear that with me," Balthier said solemnly. "Even though I would like to give that beastie a piece of my mind. Don't think I've forgiven him for dragging me across worlds just to deliver a damn rose."

Lightning met his eyes, and for the first time in a long time, she truly smiled.


	2. Part Two

The Madness is so cute here, I just wanna hug it and squeeze it and huggle it and—oh wait. He noms on people. Nevermind~ Anywhoo, just because I'm weird, Other Balthier is called Ffamran by Lightning and others. I feel that Lightning would call him by a more endearing name, since the undead Balthier isn't truly on good terms with him. :D

* * *

><p>"This has been heckling my mind for a while now, so I must ask: why do you sleep?"<p>

Lightning cracked an eye open to glare at her current annoyance, only to find that Balthier was crouching over her and pinning her to the bed mat. A cat-like smirk was creeping across his face, silver-speckled eyes nearly shining with glee. She sighed deeply, feeling the remaining flecks of Sleep leave her.

"Unlike you, I want to feel alive from time to time," she said with a small yawn. "Mind telling me why you decided to wake me up this morning? I thought you'd be out rummaging through the forest for scraps of food."

"You're too kind in the mornings, Light. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Maybe." She ran a finger along his cheekbone, tracing his hairline with slight fixation. "Mustadio always said I needed to lighten up in the mornings, but he was never awake until the afternoon at times, so how would he know?" A sigh escaped her lips, and she tugged at one of Balthier's earrings. "And don't avoid my question; it bothers me when you do that. Why are you in here?"

Balthier's face paled and he sent a sidelong glance toward the crickets chirping and frogs croaking outside. "I, er...I was watching you sleep."

Before Lightning could punch him, Ramza pulled the tent flap open and peered inside, expression blank when he caught sight of the two on the bed mat. His cheeks flushed and he vanished behind the flap, though his shadow remained evident outside. "Lady Claire, the rest of us are ready to leave," he said nervously, "but if you're not ready yet, we can wait!"

She shoved Balthier off of her and shook out her hair. "Just give me a few minutes," she called, punching Balthier in the shoulder. He gave her a mock pout, though amusement danced in his eyes. "Go on ahead, if you must. Just watch out for snakes in Midlight's Deep, all right?"

"Snakes?" Balthier asked, situating himself on Agrias' bed mat and watching Lightning dig in her pack.

"Even though he's on a tight leash, Lindzei likes to trick those who enter Midlight's Deep. Him and Ragnarok would make a fine team against bounty hunters if they weren't at each others throats all the time."

"Your beastie has quite a few enemies..."

She laughed, tossing the pack over her shoulder and picking up her gunblade. "Only a few. They all misunderstand his intentions, really. He never wanted to hurt anyone but the gods when we met years ago, and scaring the wits out of bounty hunters is his way of having fun. And," she bit her lip, looking to the side, "he's only trying to cheer me up by doing that. He knows how much I..." _want them all to die for what they did._

"You, what?"

Balthier was giving her that look again, the one that made her knees weak and false-breath stop. He knew she was hiding something, but she couldn't tell him the truth. She wouldn't admit that she was afraid.

"It's nothing; no use living in the past, right?"

She stepped out of the tent in a hurry, escaping that questioning and accusing glare.

* * *

><p>Midlight's Deep had changed. Every twist and turn was lined with vines, plagued by mossfungus that would kill a hume if inhaled too much. Lightning instructed the others to cast Shell on themselves to avoid the toxic fumes, and Balthier made a show of throwing a glob of fungus at Ramza's face. He complained that walking with a sword lodged between his ribs wasn't the most comfortable of things, but she sharply told him that he deserved it.<p>

Cidolfus was disappointed that Yiazmat had been killed years before by an unknown creature, though he happily collected a few scales from the corpse to sell to traders (he was after some rare sword again). As they ventured further and further, deeper and deeper into the cavern's depths, Lightning's anxiousness was growing stronger. Balthier, too, looked like he'd seen a ghost (although, knowing him, he _had_ seen one).

"If you don't stop tearing at your cuffs," Lightning hissed through the corner of her mouth, "I'll throw some mossfungus at you."

Balthier stared at her like a frightened chocobo. "I wasn't aware that I..." He shook his head, shuddering slightly. "Apologies. This place...doesn't settle well with me."

"Why?"

"It seems that your beastie has a bone to pick with me."

Lightning shot him a fierce glare. "Stop calling him _my_ beastie. That's worse than the time Snow kept calling me Ragnarok's prey."

The word prey seemed to set Balthier on edge; his brows furrowed, sharp teeth showed through snarling lips and his fingers were clenched into fists, whitening his knuckles. Lightning eyed him suspiciously, tilting her head in a concerned manner.

"Something the matter?"

"You are not his _prey_," he hissed inhumanely. "You are not his to claim. You are min—" He stopped abruptly, fingers twitching as if inclined to scratch his own ears off. "The sooner we leave, the better."

"If you're afraid of Ragnarok, you could just say so." A smile pinched her lips. "You're not the only one, anyway. Vaan used to tell me how much my Balthier would threaten to tear his arms off. The poor kid couldn't look him in the eyes after that."

A warm presence was suddenly at her side, a hand ghosting across her cheek. Lightning froze, earning bewildered gazes from the rest of her companions; though Cid was on the verge of laughing. Balthier, on the other hand, appeared to be absolutely annoyed. She didn't understand why until he spat out one name:

"Ffamran—"

And then he was there, standing beside her with that lively, sarcastic smirk. He was still translucent, like all ghosts were, but he was more solid than the last time she saw him. How long ago had it been? Long before Mustadio died, yes—it had been when she, in desperation, begged Balthier to kill her.

Lightning felt like she was back on Cocoon and was meeting him for the first time. But her heart was not beating in a rushed way, nor were her cheeks turning pink from longing. Ffamran touched her cheek again, bringing her closer until their lips met. She could feel him this time, holding her close as if to never want to let her go—he was here, with her, there was no denying it. She'd almost forgotten altogether that they weren't alone.

"It's you," Lightning murmured when she slowly moved away. "You've been with me the whole time..."

"The magicks Etro's put on you have hindered my chances of talking with you," Ffamran said. "Trust me: I would have rather met with you on better conditions. Midlight's Deep is Ragnarok's domain, and Etro's control does not reach here, lest she come to this realm herself_._"

"I'm surprised you're alone here. I thought—given the circumstances—you would have had Snow or someone else here. You're still all ghosts, right?"

Ffamran cast his eyes downward, then looked to Balthier, who stood near the cavern's wall with a disgruntled and distasteful look on his face. "I have not moved on, yes. But I am not tied to this world, either. My soul, because he is most like me, is tied to his. This is Ultima's doing_._"

"Ultima?" Balthier barked, stepping forward. "That she-witch—"

"Careful with that mouth of yours, Madness," Ffamran warned boredly. "You've not seen the High Seraph's strength. She, like most gods, isn't too keen on your presence here. For once I agree."

"Going to kill me, weak hume? Try, if you dare." Balthier's expression warped into that of a monster, silver eyes glimmering in the darkness. "You're just a soul, wandering until time's end. Why don't you run back to that fool? He'll save you, won't he?" A gruesome, fiendish laugh erupted from his throat. "Yet he is not here; gone away, like all the good souls of this realm!"

Lightning stepped between them, keeping a hand firmly on Ffamran's chest, holding him back. "What's gotten into you? You—you promised to keep that _thing_ under control!"

"_Thing_?" Balthier whirled toward her, hands twisting for her throat. "I am no thing, you old woman. Mad I am, yes, but who is to say that you, dearest Lightning, are not mad as well?" He grabbed her hands with a tight grip, and Lightning squirmed as she watched her own fingers wither and shrink into old, shriveled skin and bone. "No god holds you—but I! I, mad they call me, have claimed your _soul_!"

"I am not _yours_, so let me go!" She struggled against it, but the Madness—was it truly the Madness?—held her close, stroking her hair with a trembling hand and resting its chin atop her head. It felt so wrong; this was not what she wanted. This was not Balthier nor Ffamran.

Ffamran was quick to pull her away, drawing a translucent fomalhaut and aiming it toward the Madness' untamed appearance. "Go and crawl back into the hole you came from, Madness," he snapped.

"Why don't you crawl on your hands and knees, little ghost, and scamper through that Door? They're all waiting for you!"

It took longer than expected for Lightning to realize she was no longer in Midlight's Deep, protected by the Mist and vines; sideways buildings, a sky that resembled shimmering waves of stained red water, and a creature so devilish and full of trickery. This was the void.

And as the Madness launched itself at Ffamran, Lightning found her voice and screamed.

* * *

><p>"<em>Stop<em>!" Lightning shot up from the ground, clutching the scar on her shoulder and looking about the eyes staring at her. She paid no attention to Agrias' concerned stare, nor Ramza's alarmed appearance. Cidolfus was the closest to her, an arm wrapped around her shoulders to keep her steady, while Balthier—he was hume now, yes?—couldn't bear to look her in the eyes.

"I had no idea the undead could be affected by mossfungus," Agrias said in disbelief.

"We can't, not usually," Lightning answered, out of breath. "So it was all just a dream, right? Just...a dream."

Balthier ran a hand through his hair, cursing under his breath in vieran. He looked toward his left, as if waiting for permission to speak from someone who was no longer there. Ramza saw this and scowled.

"Well, pirate? Should we expect to see you faint because of the toxic fumes?"

Lightning eagerly awaited to hear him speak, but Balthier looked to be much too frightened to even explain what happened. But she could see it in his eyes: he was losing control over the Madness.

"Light, you know I would—I would never let it hurt you," he said uneasily. "But it wanted to cheer you up—don't you understand? I did not think...it would..."

She didn't give him the chance to finish. "Look, let's keep going. This place is giving me the creeps."

As Ramza led the way down the path, Lightning pulled Balthier aside and waited until Agrias was out of ear-shot to speak. "The Madness," she whispered, "it didn't...eat his soul, did it?"

He glanced toward the air in front of them, sighing gently with relief. "No, he's still there. Though the Madness was right: he should move on..."

They left it at that; there were more pressing matters to attend to. Lightning kept a close eye on him, nonetheless, for no one knew when that creature would strike again and attempt to steal someone's soul. She tried to sway her mind to other things, such as listening to Cidolfus lecture Ramza or the hissing of snakes tangled within the depths of the cavern. There was so much to focus on, but nothing could satisfy her worry. The Madness was holding onto her, somehow, with its clawed paws and slimy teeth.

Her soul belonged to it.

At last she could feel the warm breath of Mist seeping through the ground, brushing her legs and arms, and leading her closer to the Serpent Bearer. Soon they were facing a series of cliffs and waterfalls, magick energy leaking from each drop of water falling against the rocks. The roses peered through the pale grasses like excited hume children, waving blissfully in the docile wind, and the clouds drifting above guarded the imaginary sky. This was her dream realm.

"Ragnarok?" Lightning called, standing at the front of the group. Balthier made a whining noise from behind her, fidgeting with his cuffs again. "If you're off chasing down bounty hunters again—"

"_You enjoy ruining my fun, don't you, Claire?_"

Ragnarok materialized into view, sitting crosslegged in one of the mangled and bare trees. A snake was slithering down from one of the branches, hissing pleasantly at their visitors in greeting. Lightning smiled.

"Nice to see Lindzei's not slinking around Ivalice like the miry snake he is," she said.

"_He's not the best of pets, I must admit_," Ragnarok replied with a sigh, stroking the snake's coils with a single finger. "_He occasionally brings in rats and other vile creatures in an attempt to poison me. Really, Lindzei, you ought to try better than that; I know what you're capable of._"

Lindzei turned his head from the god, curling around Ragnarok's neck. Ragnarok looked back toward Lightning, smiling in partial amusement when he spotted the rest of the humes standing behind her with confused expressions. Yet when he saw Balthier, he scowled and hopped down from the tree, disturbing Lindzei's nap and earning a spitting hiss in response.

"_I should have expected this_," Ragnarok snarled. "_I thought you a good man, once before, but now you have sunken so low to align with a creature so weak-minded, so easily tempted with promises of the blood and souls of pitiful humes..._"

"I could say the same to you," Balthier said shortly. "That little serpent you call pet has done worse things than I. Need I remind you of the murder he commited, damning this fine creature you so dearly cherish?" He kept a hand on Lightning's shoulder, fingers tracing the scar beneath her clothes. "It's his fault she is this way, wouldn't you agree?"

"Stop messing with my dreams," Lightning murmured lowly. "Let me wake up, let me—"

Ragnarok shook his head. "_This is no dream, Claire. But I won't let this fiend hurt you anymore._" He scowled, crimson eyes darting toward Balthier. "_Unhand her._"

Lightning parted from Balthier, though for a brief time she almost wished she hadn't. Unlike the touch of humes and godly beings, his hands did not burn her in any way. His touch was pleasing. Ragnarok turned his attention elsewhere for a moment, eying the three humes.

"_You've come for the auracite._" At this, an emerald Stone glittered in his hands. "_There is no doubt in my mind that you will defeat the High Seraph, but know this: no good comes from desiring assistance from gods. We, after all, can only curse the living._"

Ramza narrowed his eyes, staring at the Stone. "You're the Serpent Bearer. The Lucavi that should have never existed."

"_You make it sound like a terrible thing._" He turned toward Lightning, his gaze softening. "_I would have you take this Stone as you did before, though this time...Do not make me harm you._" When he touched her hand, kissing it gently, Lightning smiled faintly. How often he reminded her of Ffamran. "_I would rather fight the High Seraph herself, not you as well. You've kept your planned freedom a secret for far too long, Claire._"

"You should know why I have to keep it secret, then," she warned.

"_And I will do my best to prevent it, for he_," Ragnarok's eyes flashed in Balthier's direction, "_won't be there to protect you._"

"What makes you think I need protecting?"

"_Over the years, Claire, you've developed a taste for the outworldly. Be mindful around those you call your allies, especially those who might_—"

"_Really, Ragnarok. She can manage on her own just fine_."

Lindzei slithered from Ragnarok's neck and disappeared beneath the roses, appearing again with a wisp of wind in hume-like form. His eyes were red, though not as gentle as Ragnarok's; he wore a thick cloak made of rich gray material; and his hands were bound by magick. Agrias drew her sword, jumping slightly at the god's appearance. He merely waved his cuffed hands toward her and faced Ragnarok.

"_You've gotten bitter in your old age, Ragnarok. It's no wonder Etro denies you passage to other worlds; you're likely to wreak havoc in a fit of _madness_, wouldn't you agree?_" Lindzei asked, pointed teeth peeking through pale lips.

"How many gods live here?" Agrias asked Lightning uneasily. "You have made strange acquaintances, Lady Claire."

The squire laughed lightly, though Balthier was less than amused. "Just hand over the Stone, and we'll be on our way," he said. "We've more important matters than dealing with chained gods."

"_So soon? At least stay for a game of cards, would you?_"

Balthier looked conflicted for a moment, torn better thoughts, and Lightning moved forward, taking the Stone from Ragnarok. The divine god faded within the Stone, frowning mournfully, while Lindzei disappeared with a sharp laugh. Once the two gods were gone, Cidolfus broke the long silence.

"A card game would be a fair break; you're all much too tense these days."

* * *

><p>They set camp around nightfall. The moon was trapped and encased by clouds, allowing Balthier to roam the camp without worry. While Ramza and Cidolfus pitched the last tent, she and Agrias were deep in conversation about tomorrow's task when Ragnarok—always nosy—chimed his opinion.<p>

_'Why not forget about hunting Lucavi for once? Better yet: forget them altogether. You seek an end to your immortality, Claire, but they cannot give it to you. This is worse than the time you begged for death from that mad man.'_

"It's impolite to eavesdrop," Lightning told the Stone, pulling it from her pack.

_'I only wish to see you happy. That boy_—_was his name Mustadio? He always knew how to make you happy.'_

Her still heart stung. "Mustadio is no longer here, Ragnarok. I thought you knew that."

_'Yes, why else do you think I'm so persistent about killing bounty hunters?'_

She slid the Stone back into its rightful place, turning her eyes toward Balthier as he tried starting a fire. Every time he tried lighting a flame it would burn out, the touch of his cold skin overpowering the weak source of heat. He gave up after a while, stubbornly sitting across the two women and scowling. But he did not look at them; his eyes were glued to the Stone in Lightning's pack.

"Mind if I had a look at that?" he asked. "I have yet to tell that beastie my thoughts regarding his apparent delivery business."

"You can hear him?"

"Well I did once play host to his needs. Is it that much of a surprise?"

_'Allow him to hold my Stone with his bloody hands, and I won't forgive you, Claire.'_

Lightning shook her head. "I'd rather not take any chances, Balthier. I'm sorry. And, from what it sounds like, you're not on the best of terms with Ragnarok. I think he's still upset over what you did."

After Ramza rejoined their group and easily lit the fire, Balthier left in a hurry, claiming he heard a wild fiend out in the forest. Lightning watched him leave with slight guilt; he seemed worried about something, but she chose not to ask. She was afraid that the Madness would try stealing her soul again.

It was nearly midnight when they heard it: a cry so broken and lost, maddened and desperate. Cidolfus thought it was a young Bandersnatch pining for its mother, though Lightning thought differently. She pushed her fear away and left the camp, traveling down the road and through the forest until she found what she was looking for. A strong whiff of blood coasted the air, making her nose twitch in disgust.

"Why have you made this my lot in life? What have I _done_? I only helped you, and this was how I was rewarded?"

Lightning stepped forward, keeping calm when she spotted Balthier pacing madly about the road, sandals leaving behind foot prints of red. "Balthier?" she called, and he spun around, looking at her wildly. He looked like a caged animal waiting to be set free. "I thought I heard you," she continued. "We could hear you screaming from the camp, but Ramza and the others thought it was a fiend. Is something wrong?"

"_I ate two human souls_!" he bellowed frantically, gesturing to the misshapen puddles of blood at his feet. "The Madness, it ate their souls!"

She held him by the shoulders, leaning close to his ear. "Be quiet. If you keep shouting, then the others will come looking for us." After helping him sit, he continued his worried rant, words running from his lips in a rushed tone.

"Their souls, I have damned them to nothing. At least, I thought, even if they no longer walked the mortal plain, they could find some happiness in the afterlife. But the Madness, idiot creature, it ate them as a dessert! It doesn't even need them!"

"But what if the afterlife is full of suffering? Did you save them, then?" She wasn't sure how to comfort him; any time Ffamran broke down, she merely sat there and waited for him to calm down. But this was not Ffamran, this was Balthier. She was all he had left.

"I don't _know_..." he moaned, leaning against her. "I don't like living like this, Light. You probably think that I am just a monster, enjoying the pleasure of the hunt, but the truth is rather to the contrary. It is the only way I can survive and be sane, Lightning. You know what happens if I don't."

He touched her shoulder, a brushing motion, where the scar branded her skin. Lightning closed her eyes. "I know." She ran her hand through his hair, earning a low and light purr in response. She thought nothing of it though, despite how odd it was. Of all the monsters she'd met in her life, Balthier was the one that confused her the most.

"Light?" he asked, sitting up slightly. "Ragnarok mentioned something in Midlight's Deep; he said that you were trying to do something about your immortality, and you rather quickly shushed him. Would you be of the inclination to share your thoughts?"

"Ragnarok has a big mouth and can't keep it shut. He enjoys the sound of his own voice, don't worry about it."

"You're hiding something and I don't like it. If you recall, you were trying to hide the fact that you wanted me to kill you seventy years ago, and now look where it has gotten us."

That was a topic she wished to avoid. Lightning shifted her shoulders, glancing to the side. "You're covered in blood."

"So I am." He was looking at something in his palm, but Lightning was too wary to even see what.

"You should go clean yourself up. You're a mess, and you look a little..."

"Gorged? Yes. I don't know when I'll get to eat next… and I am of the impression that if I attempted to have one of our dear party members for dinner I would find myself in a position of utmost hostility. I'm certain I'll look better in an hour or so."

"I sure hope so."

She led him down the hill at the other end of the road, where she could hear the trickling of a small creek just below. Once they were close enough, she pushed him into the water, grinning at his yelp of surprise, then bent down at the waterside and ran her fingers through the diminutive waves. Her reflection stared back at her, a shadow in the water, though she thought it was smiling.

"Don't think you've escaped my questions, Light," Balthier said with a scowl as he pulled off his shirt. She looked up and flicked her fingers, shooting water drops at his unimpressed glare.

"Good luck in getting answers, and don't go to Ragnarok; I won't give him to you. It's for your own safety, as well as the party's."

She said nothing more, allowing silence to claim her lips.

* * *

><p>In her dreams, someone always cried. Usually it was Mustadio, crying over the death of his father nearly thirty years before. True, him and Lightning had not been in that world at the time, but Mustadio knew his father had passed on, an old man dying in his sleep. There were others who would show up in her dreams as well, though Lightning refused to completely acknowledge them, for they were not people she knew well enough to pity and their tears were quite loud. Snow often showed up, claiming that he couldn't find someone anywhere. She tried telling him the truth, but he was determined to find that ghostly sky pirate all on his own. He would be sobbing, of course; spending over fifteen hundred years without his closest companion proved too much for the self acclaimed hero.<p>

But tonight, someone new was crying over the grave in the tangled forest. Someone that Lightning did not expect to see.

"Serah?"

The Yarhi-girl was crouched over the grave, hiccuping mildly and rubbing the tears from her eyes. Her single side-ponytail spilled over her shoulder like a waterfall of pink waves, and her blue eyes sparkled in the moonlight. Lightning stood over her, holding and fiddling with her rose bracelet.

"This is Mustadio's grave," she whispered tenderly. "I didn't think you knew of him, Serah."

"It's so sad," Serah choked between sniffles. "Because this man died, you've given up on life. Why, Claire? Was he that important to you? There are so many here who don't want you to go."

"I gave up on life the day I died. I have not lived since."

Serah shook her head, still furiously brushing the tears away. "But he's still here, isn't he?"

"What?"

"The undead, cursed man. He's the one you love."

Lightning narrowed her eyes. "I don't understand."

"You never understand, Claire. You can't love the living—you only love the dead."

Suddenly Serah melted into puddles of blood oozing into a ditch, fading into the kisses of Mist brushing Lightning's cheek. No, wait—that was not the Mist. It, it was—

—a paw?

Lightning sprung from the Sleep spell and flung the furry thing on her chest across the tent, then groped the floor for her gunblade. Agrias was sound asleep in her bed mat, unaware that a creature was whimpering in the corner of the tent, its scaled tail between its legs. Lightning moved from her bed mat and inched closer and closer to the creature, lips closed tightly.

"I was only trying to wake you," the thing sniveled. "But you are so cruel to me—so cruel, cruel, cruel..."

Then the Madness turned, and Lightning raised her gunblade and fired.


	3. Part Three

I just realized how close we are to finishing this, Mu. Now I am sad. But I gotta stay positive, because this part is filled with Madness snuggles and Lightning rants. I do not envy the other party members at this point.

Never again...will I let myself go on a ranting rampage and write this much. I might come back and edit out some things...this feels too long for one part...

* * *

><p>The bang continued to ring for moments after the shot, the gunblade still steaming at the barrel. Agrias woke with a start, sword at the ready as she literally jumped from her bed mat and crouched in a defensive position. Lightning kept her gunblade aimed at the mess of fur in the corner, her expression stoic.<p>

"Why in the world did you fire your pistol-sword, Lady Claire?" Agrias demanded, sheathing her sword once it was clear there was no obvious danger. "You must have woken half the village by now!"

"Thought I saw a rat," Lightning said sharply. "Guess I was just seeing things. You go on back to sleep; it's my turn for watch, right?"

She didn't give Agrias the chance to answer and left the girl sitting there doing an impersonation of a fish out of water, grabbing the Madness by the scruff of the neck and tugging it outside. The creature gave a whine in retaliation, though Lightning pretended to have not heard it and set it down by the fire, no longer lit by Ramza's flame. The camp was quiet, save for Cidolfus' snores. It had been Balthier's watch, just before dawn, but if the Madness was out and about...Where did that leave him?

"All right, where's Balthier?" Lightning demanded, glaring down at the cat-like being as if it were a troublesome child.

The Madness slouched, pouting slightly with disappointment. "Must you care only for him?" it asked sadly. "He does not feel the same for you as I do, so he is not worthy of your love. But I am; surely I am!"

"Unless you tell me where he is, I'll be sure to give you some well-earned attention. What did you do to him?"

"I did nothing, it was that envious beast you call Ragnarok. He needs to be leashed, or at least kept tied to worldly bonds once more. I will find a naive mortal to be his cage, I will!"

She was getting nowhere. Lightning pressed her hands to her eyes, cursing quietly, before walking to the other end of the camp and kicking a nearby tree. When she did that, however, Balthier peeked around the trunk and stared at her with blank, passive eyes. He said nothing, which was unusual for him (since he always had to comment on her anger issues). The Madness curled around her legs, purring loudly as it observed Balthier's ghost like appearance.

"Ragnarok tore me from Ffamran, and look what's become of him," it crooned. "He is no more than a puppeteer's play thing now."

"What do you mean?" Lightning asked, stepped away from the creature's affection.

"Without me, half of his soul is gone. So now all he can do is wander like the pitiless ghost he should have been years, years and years ago."

Sighing gently, she bent down in front of Balthier and brushed his cheek with the back of her hand. His eyes didn't meet hers. She knew this feeling all too well, for many years before Ffamran had lost his soul - his anima - to Feolthanos, and didn't get it back until the god has lost his control over him. But the few days Ffamran lived without a soul were terrible; she didn't exist to him, because she was undead. Yet now, at least Balthier acknowledged her presence by reaching forward and holding her face in his hands, as if to memorize her appearance.

"Poor, stupid Ffamran," the Madness pined, its tail slithering along Lightning's leg. "You can't even recognize your dearest Phoenix."

Lightning held Balthier's wrists and moved his hands away, rubbing her thumbs against his warm skin. "Then why don't you go back to him and fix his soul? You're his other half. He needs you, doesn't he?"

"And what makes you think I _want_ to go back?" The Madness rubbed up against her, blinking in a pleased manner. "I am quite charmed and entranced here in the realm of the living. And imagine: all the souls! It is refreshing."

She whirled and flicked the Madness on the nose, eyes flaring dangerously. "Don't get anywhere near my comrades. They're not food. Got it?"

The Madness hunkered down and whined again, its purr dampened by Lightning's frustration. Balthier glanced down at the creature and tilted his head slightly, as if expecting it to react differently. His brows furrowed as if he was annoyed, but again, he was silent. Lightning wondered if he could even speak (but since he wouldn't make eye contact with anyone, that seemed very, very unlikely).

"Lady Claire, just where have you run off to?" Agrias was roaming the camp, followed by a displeased Ramza. "Balthier is not around, either. Ramza, where do think they went?"

"I'd prefer not to know the various endeavors of those two," Ramza muttered. "If they've been cursed by the gods, then surely they seek to kill we humes as well."

"Stop being so judgmental, Ramza. I trust Lady Claire, and though Balthier may not seem reliable, his heart is in the right place, I'm sure."

The Madness had clambered up the tree and now hung there, watching Lightning with silver eyes that chilled her to the bone. When Ramza and Agrias' figures disappeared behind the camp, Lightning grabbed the Madness and forcefully handed it to Balthier, who, at this point in time, gave her an expression that she knew all too well: disapproval.

"Here's the story: you," she said, pointedly looking at Balthier, "haven't slept for hundreds of years and have only now decided to rest. And _you_," the Madness flinched at the harsh tone of her voice, "you will stay out of sight until further notice. I'm not through with you, all right?"

The creature nodded, looking more insignificant than ever.

* * *

><p>It was not long after she brought Balthier back to the camp that Lightning dug into her pack and pulled out the Serpentarius Stone, clenching it tightly to wake up the god resting within. She ended up flicking the damn Stone before Ragnarok's essence stirred within, and he responded with some sort of muffled yawn.<p>

_'Something the matter, princess?'_ he asked, unaware of the foul look on her face. _'It's not everyday that such a fine specimen such as yourself comes here and—'_

"Save the sweet talk, Ragnarok," she spat quietly, looking over her shoulder to see that she was the only one in the tent. "What did you do to Balthier and the Madness?"

Ragnarok's ghost-like form materialized beside her, his arm carelessly slung over her shoulders. Lindzei trailed around his neck, gazing about the tent for a scrap of food. _'What, you ask? I only meant to teach that man a lesson about minding his own business. And that creature he calls the Madness is far too infatuated with you for my liking.'_

"So you separated them? Look, I appreciate your concern, but now that...that _thing_ is running wild, we've got more problems on our hands. It eats souls, in case you don't know."

_'I am aware.'_

"So why'd you do it? Balthier's just an emotionless rag doll right now, and the Madness thinks I _want_ it to stay here."

_'It was partially Lindzei's idea. He thought it was funny how Balthier wanted to apologize. I did not agree, and thus I chose the time to act. If you just give the Madness what it wants, then surely it'll go back to Balthier's body.'_

She inched away from him, scowling at his pouting expression. "It won't go back until it gets what it wants, huh? That thing wants my soul, Ragnarok. I'm not prepared to become dinner for a mad fiend."

He shrugged, disturbing Lindzei's momentary nap and earning a distinct hiss in response. _'This is just as much of a test for you as it is for the Madness. You should listen to that old man more often; you are too tense these days, Claire.'_

Ragnarok returned to his Stone, silencing the air and leaving Lightning to her thoughts. Instead of watching over a dazed Balthier, she chose to find the Madness and once again demand that it return to its rightful place. She wandered throughout the forest, moving each and every branch she came across in case the little creature wanted to play hide and seek. But she was in no mood for games; this was a matter of life or death, here. She would convince Ragnarok to fix what he had done and then continue on with her original plan.

"Madness?" she called, pushing past more trees. This was becoming a tiring matter... "Come out, wherever you are!"

"I am here, Lightning," a small voice came from the bushes. She looked up, thinking Balthier would be there, but she found nothing but an empty space. Lightning look down and spotted the Madness peering out from the thicket, licking red juice from its paws.

"You shouldn't run off like that," she growled, bending down and flicking its nose. The Madness spluttered and crouched down. "I was worried."

"Tell me the truth, dear rose. You weren't worried about me, were you? You were worried that if I left, your precious Ffamran would be left a pitiful wraith for the rest of eternity." When she turned away and chose not to answer, the Madness crawled over and started to rub her legs, purring in a musical fashion. "Don't you see how hard I have worked to distract you, dear rose? Yet why must you refuse to be happy?"

"I _am_ happy."

"So you say, but I can see the serpent under the flowers. You're keeping secrets. Other Balthier said so, too, and he is unhappy that you would keep such secrets from us."

Lightning made a note to strangle Ragnarok the next time he chose to talk out of turn. There was no stopping anyone from discovering the truth, was there? "I don't know what you're talking about," she snapped. "And you wonder why I'm unhappy with you—you tried to eat my soul."

The Madness gave a taunt shrug then disappeared into the strawberry bush once more. "Said the fox to the serpent, 'Ye have doomed us both! Why didst thou bite me? Now we shall both drown.' And thus the snake replied, as they sank into the red water: 'Good sir, I am a _serpent_.'"

She realized just what it was doing and grabbed a strawberry right in front of it, then held it up and out of the creature's reach.

"You were eating these?" she asked, frowning. "I thought you would have been off foraging for scraps."

"I've told you before, dear rose, you flatter me."

"I didn't know you liked strawberries."

The Madness purred. "I adore them; they are much better than blood. Perhaps even souls."

Her eyebrow arched. "Then why don't you just eat strawberries?"

"I'm afraid they don't sate me."

Scoffing, Lightning pulled her dagger—the one Serah had given her for her birthday years ago—out from her pocket and began slicing up the strawberry, remembering a time when her old cat had a difficult time eating bits of bread and meat from the table. Once it was sliced into considerable pieces, she held out one to the Madness, holding in her breath, and watched as the cat-like creature took the strawberry piece and began to eat.

"I used to have a name, you know," it told her as it munched.

"You have one now."

"You call what I have a name? No, it was quite different. In those days, I was named Balthier. And even farther back, I was called Ffamran. No one calls me that anymore. They call me 'Godless Thief'. 'Monster'." The Madness paused, staring at its paws. "'That thing'."

_Right_. "Look, I was scared, okay? I'm still scared—because I can't trust you, got it? I don't want to be damned to oblivion in your stomach!" She tossed the rest of the strawberry pieces in the grass then stormed a short distance away. Her fingers ached for her gunblade. "Tell me why I shouldn't just shoot you."

"Because I look too much like your precious Ffamran that keeps you asleep and dreaming even as you stand before me. You wouldn't dare lay a finger on me." The Madness' appearance flickered like a faded image into Balthier, silver eyes gleaming in the morning light. He touched her chin with a single finger, tilting it so she could look him in the eyes. But she would not fall for his spell; she would keep her soul. Lightning struck and punched him, and the Madness hunkered down into the grass and whined quietly.

"I always wonder how Ffamran manages to reattach his jaw the right way every time you break it," it moaned, trembling. "I would think him permanently maimed the way you punch him."

Lightning made to leave, fed up with the Madness' acts of trickery and lies, but it had other plans. It huddled about her feet, giving her a look that rivaled Serah's sad, lonely eyes in her dream.

"Don't _leave_ me, Light!" it cried. "You don't _understand_ how frightened I am of being alone! Why do you think I was born of Ffamran's soul? Because he was alone and frightened of that empty void, I was created to fill it. I don't like being left alone, unpleasant thoughts start to fill my mind; I would go mad!"

Biting her lip uncertainly, Lightning picked up the Madness and held it nervously, petting its head and stroking its surprisingly soft and warm fur. It purred in thanks and snuggled against her arms.

"Well," she started to say quietly, "if you stay here and be good, I'll come back when it's time for my watch and bring you back to camp, okay? Just don't get into trouble."

Though the Madness promised it would be waiting for her, Lightning couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss.

* * *

><p>Of course, she was right.<p>

She took the time to examine Balthier's emotionless appearance, slowing realizing that he was looking a bit more pale than usual. Like before, he touched her face and stared into her eyes, as if to remember who she was. It frightened her, to be brutally honest, for she had never seen him act this way. Something was wrong.

As soon as her watch started, she returned to the strawberry vines and found that the Madness had left, leaving behind a trail of red paw prints. She followed the trail to an old cottage in the woods, though the door had been left open and one of the windows was shattered in thousands of glass shards. Lightning crawled up the wall and crouched in the window, a strong whiff of blood overwhelming her senses. She shuddered, finally laying eyes on the mass of fur currently eating a recently deceased woman.

The Madness saw her shadow and spun, wings spread wide and snake tail writhing. Lightning had to gather her strength before speaking.

"_Balthier_," she said in Vieran, a language she still had trouble with. "_It's me: Lightning, remember?_"

The creature blinked as if to clear its vision and shook its head, padding over to her and proceeding to rub against her leg. "Lightning," it mewled. "Why did you call me Balthier?"

"I saw your face and it was all I could think of..." she admitted.

"Surely you noticed that Ffamran was looking ill again. The half-wit won't even go look for his own food. He'll be much better now." The Madness hopped onto the countertop beside the windowsill and approached her, giving her a sad look with its silvery eyes. "I am sorry you had to see that."

She looked at the woman's corpse, hoping that her death was peaceful. But knowing the Madness, it was anything but that. "It's not as bad as what you and Balthier did to those people on the road near Warjilis."

Silence covered them like a warm and itchy blanket. The Madness tried to climb into her lap, but its paws were still wet with blood. Lightning grabbed the creature and held it away from her armor, pulling a cloth from the counter and wiping its paws. Once they were clean, she allowed the Madness to curl up. "You're just a little handful, aren't you?" she asked. "I'm amazed that Balthier puts up with you."

"It's not like the caged bird has a choice..."

A gentle blue glow lit up the room, and the Madness was quick to pounce to the floor and slowly crawl toward what looked to be the woman's soul. Fear dancing in her heart, Lightning reached for the Madness' tail and dragged it from the soul, earning a loud whine and hiss from the hungry fiend.

"You are _not_ eating that," Lightning berated. "And I just cleaned your paws!"

"But, _Claire—_"

"No, you already killed the poor woman—"

"She killed herself!"

"You made her kill herself!"

"How do you know?"

_This is not what I planned_, Lightning mused silently."That's beside the point. The point is that she's dead and you were drinking her blood and eating her flesh. Doesn't her soul deserve to rest in peace?"

"You sound like Ffamran..."

It took her a moment to remember the Madness was talking about Balthier and not her Ffamran. Where was he, anyway? "He's the one who thinks that, and I do, too. Now leave it." She picked up the Madness by the scuff of its neck and stepped out the window. Once they were safely outside and away from the murderous scene, she opened her pack and motioned for the Madness to get inside. "Get in. I can't get you past Agrias if you're out here. I was supposed to be on watch, not hunting you down."

"I would have come back," the Madness protested, though climbed into the pack nonetheless.

"I wonder about that."

The camp was quiet, save for Agrias sharpening the blade of her sword with a rusted dagger. She asked Lightning why she had disappeared during her watch, to which the squire had no direct answer. No doubt Ramza wouldn't be too happy with her come morning. When she tried going to sleep, the Madness proposed it sing her a song. Strange, yes, and though she wasn't quite sure, she listened anyway. It reminded her of the old songs from her childhood, like the music played at her parents' funeral; at Serah's funeral; and Snow's burial. The memories stung her eyes, though she went to sleep peacefully.

* * *

><p>Sunlight danced upon the tent, and Lightning tiredly went about preparing for the day. She was cleaning her gunblade when the tent flap opened briefly, letting in a flash of sunlight before dimming the small space once more.<p>

"You need to smile more," the Madness piped up, suddenly standing with its paws atop her knees. "You resemble an old woman when you frown; and though you are certainly old, I prefer your ageless appearance much more than the elderly."

She shoved it off and turned away. "What do you want?" she grumbled.

"I happened to overhear a conversation just now that I believe you'll want to know of," it purred. "That prude Ramza is convinced you're after the auracite to return to the past. Telling your allies of your hopes and fears was not smart, dear rose."

"I don't need you to tell me what I can and can't do."

It curled in the corner of her bed mat, its wings aflutter as it went to sleep. When Lightning retreated from her safe haven and joined the rest of the party (Balthier glanced in her direction for a mere moment before staring at the sky in a dreamy manner once more), she found herself the center of silent attention. As Agrias planned the next day's trip, Ramza wouldn't stop glaring at the squire. Even when Cidolfus suggested another game of cards to "loosen the tension", his gaze did not falter.

Lightning had managed to escape Ramza's unrelenting gaze for a moment and sped off into the forest, taking only her gunblade and Ragnarok's Serpentarius Stone with her. They were meant to visit the Beoulve manse tomorrow morning, but there was something more important that needed attending, something Lightning swore she would never forget. She clung to her gunblade as if it were her last lifeline as she ran, shoving the branches and bushes alike from her path. Her heart, though it had long since forgotten how to pulse, was stinging as if stabbed. Her eyes, cold and shivering, burned with tears that would not come.

She had walked this path many times in the other Ivalice—_her_ Ivalice. Hidden in the Forest of the Phoenix was a grave, but not just any grave. The grave of a well-known sky pirate called Ffamran mied Bunansa, but he was not so well-known in the Other Ivalice. To unknown spectators, he was just a pile of bones beneath the soiled dirt. But to Lightning, he was so much more.

However, the grave bore another body in this realm.

Tossing her gunblade aside like a petty toy, Lightning got down on her knees and touched the headstone, running her hands down the fine marble and across the name it wore. _Mustadio_, it read: simple, but meaningful to only her. She forced a pained smile and rested her forehead to the cold stone, sighing deeply.

"I'm home, Mustadio," she whispered, choking at his name. "I'm _home_."

This was her forest; the Phoenix's domain. Here she had no fears and troubles, nor hatred filling her veins like the blood that no longer flowed throughout her body. Here she could rest in peace, like the dead she so dearly loved.

Lightning opened her eyes, staring upon the name carved in stone. She longed to feel the warmth of his skin (for he never cared about how she nearly froze him to death at times), to feel the joy his smiles brought her and witness the bright shining light in his eyes whenever he spotted her in a crowd. This was Mustadio's grave. This was where she belonged.

"Found you!"

A mess of fur plopped itself atop the headstone, the Madness' tail swishing across the marble and name. Lightning, for once, did not shove the creature away in surprise and frustration, and instead brushed her fingers across its mane. It purred in response, rubbing against her hand like it was the finest smelling vine of strawberries in all of Ivalice.

"Why did you run?" it asked, silver eyes searching her expression for the slightest hint of charity. "Was that insolent wretch being a boor to you again? Shall I eat his soul, or perhaps we can share?"

"I just...needed to get away. I know it was wrong to leave Balthier behind, especially when he's not in his right mind at the moment, but I couldn't stay," she answered tentatively. "I'm sorry. I'll be back there in a minute."

The Madness tilted its head in an innocent manner and crouched down in a lounging position. It pawed at the headstone, touching the name briefly before intently peering up at Lightning's face once more. "Your little machinist is no more. Such a shame, dearest rose. Is this the source of your sadness? Is he the reason why you cannot smile even at my trickery? I only wish to cheer you up, you see."

"It's not just that—Mustadio meant a lot to me. I've lost so many of my friends to either the gods or death itself." She patted the Madness' head, staring off into the distance. "Now that I think on it, the gods have stolen a lot from me. I sometimes wonder that, because Mustadio meant so much to me, Etro stole his life away as well. Perhaps being alone is my curse."

"How did he flee mortality?" the Madness asked, pawing at the carved name. "Like a song bird, going down with a musical cry, or perchance an obnoxious sparrow, fighting till its last breath. Or, forsake the rest: he flew away like a raven, as soundless as the night?"

"A bit of all three." She closed her eyes and remembered.

* * *

><p>It had been just the start of dawn when the bounty hunters came upon our camp. Mustadio was busy repairing my gunblade for the hundredth time, it seemed, but he was more than happy to help me. He always was. I had been dismantling the tent and putting out the fire when I heard their cries; their laughter and boastful praise of themselves. "<em>We've got 'em now<em>," they had shouted. "_We've got 'em both, haven't we? The conniving Godless Thief and his whore Phoenix!_" I thought they were just more of those simple minded and lower class headhunters, but they were much more.

I told Mustadio to get out of there, as usual. But he said no and threatened to cast cure on me just so I would cooperate, as usual. My gunblade wasn't close to being restored, and his two pistols wouldn't have done a thing against their swords and bows.

You see, all the bounty hunters had been convinced for a long time that Mustadio, because he was nearing sixty at the time, was Balthier and had lost his 'blessing of eternal youth'. I knew it was a bad idea to go along with it, but Mustadio felt that since Balthier and Fran had been so good to us and lived as distractions for us, we needed to return the favor. I regret allowing that even now.

The headhunters had stormed into our camp like a pack of wild bulls, smashing everything in sight and plundering through all our belongings and food. We barely had enough time to ready for a battle when they found us. I still thought it was best for Mustadio to just run away, but he was no coward. He had made some sort of promise to Ragnarok, long ago, that he would play the leading man until it was his time to pass on the title. But there was no one to name as his heir; unlike Ffamran, he was faithful.

"_Can't run now, can ye?_"The lead headhunter looked more like an Oretoise than a man. "_Been chasin' ye through thick waters and stormy mountains, we have_."

A fight broke out, as expected. I went for the smaller headhunters, thinking that if I took them down, the leader would feel powerless and flee. But Mustadio—I swear, he may have been related to Snow at times—he went for the leader and demanded he leave our camp. He should have known better, but he wanted to protect what little dignity I had left.

But then it happened. I was too careless and didn't realize it sooner, but...all they wanted was to kill Mustadio and claim the bounty. When he didn't 'rise from the dead' like they expected they knew he was a fake. And so they thought that I, too, was an impostor.

They left, taking away any expensive and worthy items we had. I went to Mustadio's side immediately, praying that he was not dead as they claimed.

"_Well, I suppose Balthier and Fran are going to have a bit more trouble, huh? You'll tell them I'm sorry, won't you, Light?_"

And that was it. Mustadio died in my arms, the ghost of a smile still etched on my face. And I was alone: completely and undeniably alone.

* * *

><p>Lightning opened her eyes only to be startled when the Madness crawled into her lap, padding around in a circle before settling down and purring loudly. For a moment she just watched it sleep, expecting it to launch itself at her and steal away her soul, but soon she realized that was no longer its intentions. In fact, the Madness seemed to have wanted the opposite. It did not want her soul (not for dinner, at the least), but her heart.<p>

A smile crept across her lips, and she ran her hand across the Madness' fur, feeling more at peace than she had in years.

* * *

><p>The others were still deep in discussion when she returned to camp, the Madness curled comfortably in her arms, though it was not until she sat join beside one of the tents that they acknowledged her presence. At least Ramza did not glare at her, though the questioning look from her mentor was just as bad.<p>

"I did not know you had a cat," he said, looking right at the Madness, sound asleep.

Lightning's breath hitched. "Cat?" She fumbled and shoved the Madness behind her back, ignoring the protesting mewl. "I used to have a cat back on Cocoon—her name was...well, it's been so long that I can't even remember."

"And what do you call that feline you've been hiding from us these past few days?"

The Madness crawled onto her shoulder, nuzzling against her hair and neck. "You are very observant, for an old man," it purred. "I am glad Lightning chose you as her mentor; any other man, and I would not approve."

Agrias stared at the Madness with wide eyes, while Ramza looked ready to draw his sword (but the Madness had hid it earlier in the day, of course). Cidolfus took the Madness in his hands and held it out, studying its face with curiosity.

"Strange, very strange," he murmured, rubbing his beard. "So this is the source of the Godless Thief's madness...Strange, indeed."

"I am not the source; no, it was his greedy heart that created me." The Madness pouted. "I do not like being called a mere 'source'..."

Lightning took the Madness back and stroked its fur. "Just a minor mishap with a very jealous Ragnarok," she assured the party. "The Madness won't hurt anyone, I made sure of that, so there shouldn't be any fighting. And besides..." She patted the Madness on the head. "Snow always said I needed another cat."

* * *

><p>The next day came with its usual problems. Ramza tried to leash the Madness and force it to walk to the Beoulve manse on its own, which earned him a firm bite on the hand and a Sleep-like charm as an added bonus. Ragnarok was none too pleased that Lightning had called him <em>jealous Ragnarok<em>, and promptly ignored her until further notice. Despite that, things were going well. Until they reached the manse, that is.

The Madness had been wary since entered the large mansion, jumping at every little noise in the long hall. Balthier was nearly the same, though he could only show a more passive semblance of fear (Agrias voiced her worry over this, thinking something bad was going to happen).

They were still walking when the Madness collapsed, whining ever so quietly and laying on the floor like a helpless animal. Lightning bent down and picked it up, muttering under her breath.

"You're so needy," she said. "You want to tell me what's wrong?"

Cidolfus and Agrias looked down upon the Madness, awaiting an answer. Ramza stood off to the side, stubborn as always. "You will hate us for not telling you before," the Madness went on. "A Lucavi is here; I can feel it. Adrammelech is his name, and once upon a time, Balthier commanded him as an Esper, along with Famfrit the Darkening Cloud and Zodiark, Keeper of Precepts. When the Zodiac Braves came to seal away the Lucavi gods, centuries ago, Balthier managed to separate himself from Adrammelech, inadvertently releasing his other Espers, but he—no—_we_ still share a link with the Wroth today."

Lightning took time to process this information. She never had the chance to command an Esper; only her old Eidolon, Odin. Ffamran had control over Famfrit, though, as well as Ultima until he and Ragnarok parted ways. She remembered hearing that Snow commanded the Esper Mateus, but that was a story he did not enjoy sharing.

Previous masters of Espers were attuned to their Lucavi brethren, which meant...

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Lightning exclaimed. "That means you and Balthier are attuned to the Capricorn St—!"

The office door shot open, shards of wood flying across the room as Zalbaag tumbled out, dropping his sword to the floor. Ramza rushed to his brother's aid, just as Dycedarg waltzed out of the room, a proud but demonic look flaring in his eyes. Lightning took the Madness and hid behind a wall, holding her breath as a battle between brothers commenced. She refused to fight this battle; the first time, whether it was out of protection or stupidity, Ffamran cast Disable on her, which then brought her to Ajora, the previous host of Ultima.

It seemed something similar would happen this time. Only, Ffamran wasn't here to protect her.

When Dycedarg fell, it all seemed too simple. Lightning peered around the corner as the Madness whimpered and trembled in her arms. "It's not over, Light. It's not over yet, it's far from over, and they've only made _him_ angry..."

Dycedarg stood, swaying, and in a quicksilver motion he was upon Balthier, pining the inept sky pirate to the floor. Lightning let go of the Madness and ran, but she was too late. Dycedarg shoved the Capricorn Stone into Balthier's throat.

"_Try to stop...my coming now...Phoenix..._" The words were like venom, and Lightning cast aside the horrid man when she reached Balthier. The Madness pawed at her legs, trying to move her away from the sky pirate. She snapped.

"Stop it! What do you think you're doing? We have to help him!"

"No, Lightning, don't you understand? He's—"

Hands wrapped around her throat, freezing her bones, and soon Balthier tossed Lightning through the nearest wall as if she was already dead. Her bones cracked, snapping and falling apart altogether, and though she lay limp in the rubble, she could vaguely hear the voices in the other room.

"_Ah...the flesh of an undead, a better gate for the gods could never be created. You say I murdered your father? Nay, I gave him his due, no more, no less._" It was Balthier—but wait. No, it couldn't be. Adrammelech? "_And_ you_. You will now receive your dues, too, for too long have you stood in the way of the Lucavi. Two centuries ago, when the time came for Ffamran to join the host of the Lucavi gods under my command_—_it was you who forced me to leave his body. You, who are naught but the lowest kind of fiend, think that you are a better of the gods?_"

Lightning pushed herself up, head spinning, and silently cast various dark magick spells to heal her wounds. The Madness, cowering in front of Adrammelech, looked to her with a pleading and hopeful look. She did not meet its eyes.

"_I know that you spread your madness through music; I know that your power lies in your voice, spell-singing fiend. I will not allow you to interfere with our Mistress' coming. Not this time!_"

She watched as Adrammelech cast some strange, unrecognizable spell against the Madness, hitting it with what should have been a death blow. The Madness made to strike back, but it was powerless. Adrammelech advanced on the poor creature, slowly, slowly, slowly—

Lightning crashed into Adrammelech and knocked him to the wall, hands clenched about his wrists and restraining him from doing further harm. "Balthier, listen to me! You have to fight Adrammelech," she pleaded. "You can't let him control you; you're too strong for that!"

Adrammelech spat in her face, and Lightning jeered away. "_You are as much of a fool as that King you once admired. Look at her, Ffamran, and find the will to care!_"

Soon fiery orange flickered to silvery brown, and though Balthier could not see her, something was there. Lightning's breath hitched, and Adrammelech took her momentary trance to his advantage; he flung her to the floor, snapping her neck in the process.

"_You'll get what you deserve too, dear Phoenix...Be patient._"

Adrammelech disappeared from her line of sight, and not too long later Cidolfus rushed to her side and began to heal her wounds. Something pawed desperately at her numb face, meowing and crying in an attempt to wake her up. Its cries were like nails against metal, screeching and shattering sound itself. She felt her fingers twitch, and as she sat up she touched the Madness' head, stroking its matted fur.

"You're rather useless, aren't you?" she asked jokingly.

Cidolfus yelled out just as a sword nearly bludgeoned Lightning's head, and they scattered. Adrammelech held the Excalibur blade; it was a holy blade, and thus it burned the tainted undead man's hands. She barely dodged his attacks, but her head was like a weight on her shoulders and all she wanted was to sleep and be done with this. Yet the Madness saw something she couldn't and struck, making Adrammelech stumble and tangled itself around his feet. Lightning took the chance and readied her gunblade, blinking the blood from her eyelashes.

"_Again, you have meddled in things of the gods, foolish Madness. And now, your punishment!_"

The Excalibur blade pierced through the Madness' body, pining it to the wood flooring and spilling black blood all over. It tried to escape, hissing and howling, but it was of no use. Adrammelech, pleased with the deed, ventured away to fight with the others, and Lightning—she could not believe this wasn't a dream—bent down beside the Madness. Always happy to see her, it tried to crawl but couldn't. She stroked its fur, her hands sparkling with darkness.

"Hang in there," she said faintly. "You'll be okay...You're immortal, aren't you?"

Her magick was absorbed by the wound, yet it did nothing to help the Madness. Soon, in pain and suffering, the Madness looked at her with no recognition; just like when Balthier looked her in the eyes moments before. It was suddenly so inhuman, but so very afraid of every little thing.

"You'd best put him out of his misery, Phoenix," Cidolfus told her. "Look what the Holy magick is doing to him."

She wouldn't listen; this wasn't happening, not again. "He can't die, not like this...What will happen to Balthier?"

Ramza knelt down beside her, his hands glowing with white Holy. Cidolfus touched her shoulder tenderly. "Balthier will be fine, I think. Chances are that the Madness and Balthier will join back together once he dies."

Lightning kept running her fingers through the Madness' tousled fur until the Holy spell did its job. The Madness lay there, no longer struggling. Just the sight of it made her heart weep; why had so many died?

Why couldn't she join them?

* * *

><p>"Adrammelech is still out there," Ramza spoke as he led the party through the forest and back to their camp. "We cannot linger for too long if we want to catch up with him."<p>

"We are not killing Balthier, too," Agrias retorted, furious. "I won't watch another friend die, Ramza. That creature was harmless, it helped Lady Claire! And you, you—"

Lightning shook her head. "Just wait. No matter what, Balthier has always found his way back to me."

And her words proved true: Balthier stumbled out from the trees like a drunken fool, holding his head and panting. The others unsheathed their swords, ready to fight the Lucavi, but Lightning would not. She walked forward and whispered his name.

"Balthier."

He looked at her, squinting and trying to put a name to her face. She was reminded of the time they first met, that day where so much changed for her. It was in a forest, much like this one—though she knew nothing back then.

"Help me," Balthier croaked. "_Please_..." He suddenly spotted Ramza standing between Agrias and Cidolfus, and fury burned in his gaze. He went silent, then spoke to an empty space. "You're not the Madness. What...who are you?" In an instant his anger flew to fear, and he met Lightning's eyes once more. "_Please...Help me...I don't want...to become a monster; not like this. Please...I'm...human..._"

Lightning bit back her fear, walked forward and touched his face. The Void welcomed her home.

* * *

><p>She found Balthier laying on his side in darkness, curled up and sleeping soundly. Lightning paused before speaking, "Balthier?" He yawned, stretched his arms and curled back up, pretending as if she wasn't even there. She growled, then kicked him gently in the back. "Balthier, I'm talking to you."<p>

"What?" he said tiredly, rolling over and facing her. "Who are you? Who's Balthier? Hm?"

She only answered him with a glare. She'd had enough of his damn memory loss relapses.

"There you are, Sloth!" called a bright voice. "Gluttony and I have been looking all over for you!" Two more Balthiers joined the fray, though one looked more hungry than charming. Lightning scratched her head, telling herself to wake up from this dream. "Who's that, Sloth? Your new girl? She looks nice."

The Balthier called Sloth yawned again. "We just met. I don't even know her name, and no, she's not my girl."

"Excellent! T'would be a shame if she belonged to _you_."

Lightning crossed her arms. "Balthier, what is going _on_? And why are there three of you?"

The one she presumed was called Envy grinned. "Well, normally there are seven of us, see? But Wrath is angry at us, so he wouldn't come when Pride called and Lust went off to find him. Greed is on his way, and Pride likes to make us wait, because he thinks he's the best."

Lightning stared. "And I thought one Balthier was bad enough..."

Three more arrived: Wrath, Greed and Lust. As expected, Lightning didn't like the look Lust was giving her (though she remembered times when Ffamran, after drinking too much, looked at her the same way).

"You see," Envy continued, "we are just thoughts—fragments. Incomplete pieces of a whole."

"Then Balthier is your whole," Lightning said. "He looks exactly like all of you."

Lust strode toward her. "If Balthier is the whole, who are you? Not one of us."

"I'm Lightning."

One more (Lightning was about to shoot something at this point) approached the group, though this time he was dragging a child Balthier with him. "I apologize for keeping you waiting," Pride said. "I found another one."

"Dammit, I'm Balthier!" the child exclaimed. Lightning pitied him; why did everything happen to Balthier?

"I came to warn you that there is an intruder in our realm. A god calling himself Adrammelech."

"_I...I...want to eat_," Gluttony pined. "_C-can I...eat him?_"

Pride smirked, reminding Lightning so much of Ragnarok: monstrous, but still partially human. "When we find him, don't even leave a finger."

The sins proceeded to argue over just who would act first (Sloth noticeably went back to sleep), and Balthier slowly went toward Lightning and held her hands. She looked to the sins, then back to the boy. "Balthier, please, _tell me_ you know who I am and what's going on!"

"I...I have memories. Bits and pieces. I know you are not my enemy, and I know your name, but...there are other things, looser things. But that's not important. It is that a god has gained entry to my soul and now attempts to bend me to his beck and call."

"Adrammelech...He killed the Madness."

"The monster know as 'Madness'...is not as dead as you would think. You were looking at him earlier. He gains his strength back, feeding on the conflict in my soul...But at its base, Madness is created from those seven fragments."

They both looked toward the sins: some screamed, cried, wept, but soon a bright light enveloped them, covering them like a thick blanket. They merged with the light, but the screams did not deafen. In fact, they grew louder as the light faded.

"…_Mama!"_

"_Kill…me…"_

"_Ha ha! Ha ha ha!"_

"_It hurts…!"_

_"__**Claire...DON'T LOOK AT ME!**__"_

A monstrosity, hidden by light, began to take form. The Madness screamed and writhed, though it was not like Lightning remembered. Muscle that was not yet full grown and mangled flesh hung from battered bone; a skull that cried black blood swung around, sobbing from all their attention; but it's body—oh god, it's body! Human torsos, arms, legs, and hands wriggled among the flesh, reaching and yearning. The humans screamed, but among the screams were voices—voices belonging to the dead Lightning so dearly loved.

_"Well, I suppose Balthier and Fran are going to have a bit more trouble, huh? You'll tell them I'm sorry, won't you, Light?"_

_"A dream, huh? This is...a pretty good one, then..."_

_"__**Don't**__..."_

_"I don't understand! Why are you after Balthier? He's not a monster, he's_—_"_

_"You don't know...how long I've waited to hear that from you..."_

_"__**Don't look at me!**__"_

The Madness' cry overcame the dead, but Lightning shivered and trembled from the voices that lingered in her mind. She coughed, covering her mouth as Balthier stood there as calm as ever.

"Hm..." He took her hand and led her away from the beast, continuing their journey into the sideways city. "Under all that fur, that _is_ what he looks like, you know."

"Yeah...One second," Lightning stammered, then drifted to the side and vomited. How did the Madness know? True, she told it about Mustadio, but what of the others? How did it know Snow died during the war, or that Serah had been killed while protecting Ffamran? And how did the Madness know that Ffamran had died in her arms, just as she had years before?

Of course—the Madness was Balthier. She had told him _everything_...but not everything.

"That is the result of eating hume souls," Balthier continued. Lightning stood up, rubbing her sore head and glaring at him.

"Shut up. I want to find Adrammelech, kill him and get out of here."

Adrammelech was sitting in the palace throne like a King, grinning in the shadows. Lightning thought to just stab the creature and end it, but Balthier had to end this himself. This was not her battle.

"That place does not belong to you," he snarled.

"_Your soul is mine, Ffamran. It all belongs to me._"

"The Madness will not be pleased. He is not as reasonable as he usually is."

"_You know how the original form of Madness was born. He was created by a man who feared everything...and the Madness now is simply controlled by fear. He is afraid to frighten away the woman whose trust he has just earned..._"

_Just_ earned; Lightning suddenly felt guilty. A translucent triangle formed beneath Adrammelech, with two Balthier doppelgangers standing at the corners. "Demon, you don't know anything," Balthier spat. A massive meteor dropped from the starry sky, fires burning intensely, though moments before it crashed, it warped into the Madness' monstrous form. The thin, skeletal arms pulled and ripped at the Lucavi god, and it bit down and tore at Adrammelech's skin.

_"Don't look...!"_

_"Mama!"_

_"Go!"_

_"Leave me alone!"_

_"Don't look at me!"_

_"__**Finish this, Claire!**__"_

Her gunblade materialized in her hands as she ran forward, flying into the air and smashing the blade into the Lucavi's head. Everything fizzled to dust, dissipating and returning to the world of the living. She thought to have seen a hand reaching for her, but Lightning gathered that she was, indeed, dreaming once again.

* * *

><p>She woke to a strangled cough and a light tinkle. Lightning quickly sat up and held Balthier in her arms, pretending that everything else, just for a short while, didn't matter. He seemed surprised at her show of affection, though he did not move away from her, either.<p>

"The Madness," she murmured in his ear. "Is he okay?"

He did not answer, but instead leaned his head against hers and purred softly.


	4. Part Four

Here it is. The ending to Eternally Cursed.

* * *

><p>There was something afoul in the wind, Lightning could feel it. She waited outside as Agrias picked through the shop's supplies, ogling at a shiny, sharp new sword she was greatly tempted to buy. But they were low on money, of course, and Balthier wasn't in the best of moods to go steal for them. Not that Ramza would let him out of his cage, of course.<p>

"Lady Claire, do you think it was all right to leave Count Orlandeau and Ramza on their own?" Agrias asked, still eying the sword.

"I doubt they'd get into any trouble," Lightning murmured, resting her head against the wall. "Not unless more bounty hunters show up asking for it. But everyone is too afraid to face the Thunder God and his Phoenix."

"Does that name bother you?"

She wasn't expecting that sort of question. "Not so much as it used to. I mean, most of the time the name is used in praise. Despite, sometimes I wonder if people think I'm a god sent by the devil to destroy the world."

Agrias smiled, setting the sword down on the counter. "When you showed up the day the Princess was kidnapped, I did not think you were anything more than a mere squire. But then you told us your secret: that you were an Eternal, the creatures from the stories. Now I understand. Lady Claire, I think some greater being sent you to help us."

_Greater being, huh?_ Lightning closed her eyes. _Balthier should be happy to hear that._

"Let's get back to the others," Agrias suggested, heaving a bag of supplies out the door. "Balthier must be getting bored in that room. I told Ramza it was a bad idea to lock him up like that, but... I'm not sure if he was listening."

Rain was trickling from the sky, falling to the ground and making little rings in the puddles they passed on their way back to the inn. Lightning found herself watching her distorted reflection in each cluster of water, smiling faintly at the pale color of her cheeks. Sometimes, if she looked hard enough, she could see Ffamran smiling back at her.

Ramza was waiting underneath a crumbling porch, the house behind it already burned to the ground. When she asked why no one had repaired it, he said with a heavy sigh, "Heretics."

"Are people so adamant on killing us, then?" Agrias asked, disappointment in her voice. "Ivalice is going through dark times, yes, but why so much blood?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Lightning said with a shrug. "The Church is corrupt, that much is certain."

Cidolfus walked around the corner, the sword Agrias had been admiring slung over his shoulder. She took with an appreciative smile. "You see, my Phoenix, the Church has been corrupt for many years. It's only now that they're starting to see the error of their ways. A shame that most of them have become Lucavi tools." He scratched his chin. "Then again, the world is better off without them."

Ramza made to reply, but Lightning quickly shushed him. "No, Balthier is not a member of the Church. He actually despises religion more than children."

"I… actually was not going to say that," he said, cheeks flushed.

Lightning cast her gaze elsewhere. "Oh, right… Well, we better get going. The night draws close."

* * *

><p>"Hands."<p>

Balthier stared at her, a perplexed expression shadowing his silvery, yet somewhat dark eyes. Obediently, he held out both hands and allowed her to unwrap the bandages she had so hastily bound earlier that day. His skin was deformed to a point where she could hardly stand the stench. She sighed out of annoyance.

"Whatever am I going to do with you, pirate? You get into so much trouble."

He chuckled as she tied the bandage around his hands. "Well, with you here to look after me and punch me every time I do something wrong, I'll manage, I suppose. Though…" Balthier looked downcast for a moment. "I managed a few centuries… alone."

Lightning sighed again, then remembered how much Balthier hated that. Sighing away a bit of her life every time, he always said.

"I've missed you," he said suddenly.

"It's only been three hours, Balthier."

"No, it's been a week. _I_ have not been with you for a week. I already miss you."

Oh… The Madness.

"It was fun, _being_ with you. It was the one game that I lost; I lost to you."

"Aren't you with me, though?" She touched the Madness' cheek, and he leaned into her touch, purring so loudly that the others turned and looked with confusion.

"You know what I am. You can't say that, Claire."

Balthier returned, if only for a moment. "He's become as lazy as a cat, Light. All he wants to do is lie around and be petted and stroked by you. It's wreaking havoc on me."

"I'm not alone when you're here," the Madness whined. "I don't know what I would do if you left me. When we part ways again, you have to keep coming to see us. No one wants to come near us because they _think_ they know what we are."

_Please don't make me do this._

"Balthier, and Madness, you too… If I were to go away for… a long time, what would you do?"

"I'm not sure," Balthier answered first. "I must say that you're the only constant thing in my unending life. Everything else changes—I have seen cities crumble and new ones spring up in their place. The thing that has never changed is you."

The reaction she dreaded the most was the Madness', for she knew he could see the hidden meaning to her words. He started to sob, tugging at her hands. "You're keeping secrets, Light, and we don't like it. You don't really love us, do you? It's just because we look like that—that Other that you died for. I should have eaten his soul while I could!" He lashed out at someone behind Lightning, but she distracted him by stroking his cheek. "You're going to go away, aren't you? You're going to leave me by myself, and I'll never see you again."

_Stop this—I can't live through this again._

Good-byes; it was always about good-byes. That one moment before everything would end, the final embrace, the last kiss, the only glance of respect. She hated good-byes more than anything in the world.

"Stop crying," she told him, but tears were falling from her own cheeks.

"You don't understand. You _don't_. Light, I don't have anything left—it was my fault. I did it—I killed Fran and ate her soul. I could show it to you. But I was so scared that she thought I was a lost cause—I didn't want her to leave me, so I ate her and now I keep her inside of me… with all the others…"

She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his. "Please, stop it, I can't—…"

It did not take him long to stop crying, but she knew the Madness had hid himself away and was now wallowing in his sorrow alone—just like he always would. Balthier lay on the bed and said no more, staring at the ceiling with a languid expression. Rubbing her eyes, Lightning ran her fingers through his hair as she joined him, resting her head on his shoulder.

The ceiling painted images of phoenixes burning up into ashes, rising again in triumph, but Lightning knew that she was different.

* * *

><p>Lightning could hardly recognize herself.<p>

She sat on one of the beds, Balthier kneeling behind her with a few pins in his mouth, brushing out her hair and murmuring about how long it had been since she changed her hair style. Her normally spiked hair was straightened out, and her curls looked glossy in the dim light. Agrias stood by the door, smiling at the pair.

"Remind me why we're doing this again?" Lightning groaned, folding her arms across her chest. Balthier seemed too busy pining her hair into a bun to answer.

"Disguise," he finally said. "It will be easiest this way. You're going to pretend to be a noblewoman, yes? Say that there is a relative of yours interred within the crypt. They will warn you that there is a monster down there, but don't worry; that was me. Now, it may be a different story."

Ramza glanced up from the map. "What do you mean?"

"Before I joined your little journey, I would sometimes use Mullonde as a hiding place from bounty hunters. The catacombs below are very pleasant—" Lightning shot him a look through the mirror. "—for someone like me, that is. However, it began to have a—a bad feeling about it… I just—had a premonition about it. I couldn't stay, so I left."

"Like a creature that senses a storm about to break," Cid added, tilting his head. Balthier stood up and moved in front of Lightning, purposely avoiding her furious and slightly bemused expression.

"For this reason," Ramza nobly said, "I suspect that a Lucavi has made of the place a base for his dastardly operations. The Gemini and Capricorn Stones resonated when we reached Mullonde. Something is there."

"Yeah, that's great… But why am I the noblewoman? Why couldn't have I been something more humble, like… I don't know: the nun?" Lightning asked, hanging her head exasperatedly.

"Because," Balthier answered with a grin, "your hair is such an outlandish color that the only people who could possibly get away with it are of the aristocracy."

From inside her pocket, Ragnarok chuckled. _'I have wondered why your hair was such an… intriguing color. Now I understand—was your family of the aristocracy, Claire?'_

Resisting the urge to throw his Stone out the window, she instead made to punch Balthier, but he dodged her swing and picked up a box from the floor. When he pulled out a luxurious vermilion dress with too many frills and bows, Ragnarok burst out laughing.

"I'll wear that for one punch," Lightning growled.

"One I would gladly take," Balthier purred.

She gladly obliged.

"Did you have to do that?" Agrias asked as they went into the small washroom, taking the voluminous dress from Lightning. "I'm sure Balthier means well, and… perhaps, um…"

Lightning pulled off her shoulder guards and tossed them on the counter, then started to remove her boots when she saw the embarrassed look on Agrias' face. "What's the matter?" she asked.

"I was just thinking that perhaps Balthier _wants_ to see you in the dress?"

The statement caught her off guard. "No, that's just too…" She shook her head. "That's insane. Balthier and I—we're not like that. I couldn't… betray Ffamran like that."

On cue, that warm presence entered the room just as Agrias left. Lightning pulled Ragnarok's crystal from her pocket and set it on the counter, purposely tossing her skirt on top of it. His protests were partially amusing: _'My eyes are closed! Why do you have to mistreat me, Claire? I—I wasn't looking!'_ As she struggled with putting on the dress, it felt like warm hands were helping her slip it over her body. The hands tied the last strings along her back, then moved to her shoulders where she felt a soft, consoling kiss.

"Ffamran?" she whispered, staring at her reflection. "Is that you?"

'_Ffamran? What? _He_ gets to see?'_ Ragnarok scoffed. _'So the ghost is able to express his affection, the Madness is allowed to sit in your lap… and what do I get? I am forced to sit in your pocket and hardly get any attention at all!'_

"I don't want you to scare the others with your beastly appearance, Ragnarok," Lightning reassured him, sighing when the warm presence vanished. "And you can't come out of your Stone for too long without getting tired."

He groaned. _'May we please destroy Ultima again so I can be freed?'_

Lightning's heart sank. "Soon. I promise."

* * *

><p>"Remember what I told you," Balthier murmured to her at the towering, elegant gates. "Tell the guards you're visiting a long dead relative. Say it's the anniversary of their death."<p>

She shoved his shoulder, tempted to whack him upside the head with her crimson umbrella. "I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want to lie just so we can fight another Lucavi," she admitted. "And—what do you expect me to say? 'Excuse me, good sirs. Might I venture into the tomb with my undead companion?'"

He barely smiled. "Now I understand why the Madness refuses to play cards with you… Just do your best, and if things get out of control… I will gladly step in."

"I'm not sure I want that."

The others retreated into the forest just as she approached the two tall men standing behind the gate. Their armor looked fragile, as if it would crumble at the slightest touch. Just like the catacombs. Lightning swallowed hard before bowing her head and walking up to the bars, attempting the look that she once saw Serah use on her parents when she wanted to go to the beach one day.

"Excuse me," she said. "I… Might I venture into the catacombs?"

"For what purpose?" one of the men asked, scrutinizing her with his glare.

"It's—" _Think, Lightning, think!_ "—it's the anniversary of my brother-in-law's death. He and I were very close, and I… I miss him very much so."

Both men stared. _'Claire, they don't believe you. If you would just let me out, Lindzei and I could—'_

"He died in battle, you see? A-and I never had the chance to say how much he meant to me…"

"Name?"

"Huh?"

"Your family name." The guard pulled out a long scroll that tumbled all the way to the grass. "What is it?"

"Um, well—Villiers. But my family may have listed him under another name out of embarrassment. Because—well, you see, my brother-in-law was quite strange. He was always running about calling himself a hero at the most random of times, and I could have sworn he was slightly interested in men—"

'_Oh, gods, Claire! You could have chosen one of your other comrades. Why do you always have to pick the fool? Why not the thief or the Queen? Even that little machinist—'_

"Right, come along. Make it quick, though," the guard said as he pulled the heavy gate open. "There's a fiend down in the catacombs. We don't want a pretty little lass like you to get hurt."

'_That is it; I'm definitely hunting you imbeciles once I'm free!'_

"Thank you. I'm sure my brother-in-law's ghost will protect me," she said with a false smile. The moment she was out of their range, Lightning plucked Ragnarok's Stone from her bodice and threw it into the trees, smirking when he yelled:

'_Claire! Do not leave me here! What if—there are _birds_ in this tree! I—I don't particularly like the way they're eying me! Claire, please! Come back!'_

* * *

><p>The others hopped over the fence when Lightning gave them the signal to move, though Agrias was less than pleased when she learned Lightning had left Ragnarok's Stone behind. Balthier, on the other hand, couldn't stop laughing.<p>

"We can't just leave him there," Agrias protested.

"I agree," Ramza added. "If anyone was to get their hands on the Lucavi's Stone, who knows what may happen. We need the creature in order to save Alma."

Lightning gaped at him, and Balthier finally went quiet. "Listen, Ramza: Ragnarok is not a Lucavi. He was bound to the Stone because he _refused_ to be like those monsters. Stop treating every otherworldly being like them! First Balthier, then the Madness, and now Ragnarok? What about me, huh?" She turned on her heel, moving behind some bushes to remove the dress. "Am I a monster, too?"

"Lady Claire, I—"

She ignored him until she needed to grab the rest of her armor from his grip. As soon as she was fully dressed, Balthier grumbled and fumbled with the lock of the gate. Cidolfus returned with Ragnarok's Stone and returned it to its rightful owner, though the god was less than pleased with her.

'_You have no idea how tempted I was to send Lindzei after those birds…_' he growled, then went silent until further notice.

"You looked rather fetching in red," Balthier said when Lightning joined him by the gate. "True to your namesake."

She swallowed hard, remembering what Agrias had said earlier: _perhaps Balthier _wants _to see you in that dress?_

"And what of you?" she asked, scoffing. "The Godless Thief hiding in the holiest of Cathedrals?"

"I dislike meeting the predictable expectations of others." He unlocked the door with a click and led the way, walking into the hall as if he were home.

Lightning kept close to him, but her eyes wandered along the carvings and sculptures lining the walls and covering the ceiling. Angels damning demons to the depths of Hell, parading against the demons threatening their home… but soon the faces contorted into grotesque expressions of hatred, gluttony and greed. Lightning stumbled right into Cidolfus, who gave her a pat on their head and a chuckle.

"I can barely see my hand in front of my face," Agrias said. "Shall we light a torch? I am surprised you navigated this labyrinth without any assistance, Balthier."

"I rely on my hearing and sense of smell; I would advise against a light. Many of those hunting me thought to do the same. I had to do naught but wait for them to succumb to their fear…"

_And the Madness,_ Lightning wanted to say but instead remained silent. She wondered how the Madness was doing, especially after his breakdown. He had come so close to discovering her plan…

Balthier started to laugh. "So much death! All the souls, bound in one place. Can you see them?"

Obviously the Madness was doing just fine.

"I can't see a thing," she answered, shaking her head. She really couldn't—all she could make out were faint red lights glowing along the walls.

"Well, I did try to make you see, years and years ago."

That was something she tried not to remember. Lightning rested her arm against the wall—or what she thought was the wall—and ended up shuffling away almost instantly. "Balthier," she said, voice trembling, "there are bones in the wall."

"_She speaks true_."

Balthier froze like a hunted fiend, eyes jittery and suddenly afraid of something Lightning could not see. At last, when she reached for him, red lights flickered from the bones and gathered at the middle of the path, morphing into the small frame of a young girl.

Lightning could not believe her eyes. _Penelo_?

"Balthier! It's been so long!" The dancer jumped into Balthier's arms, embracing him as if it had been over a hundred years since they last met (which was true, more or less). "When I finally found you here, you left! You almost made me think you didn't want to see me again! I'm hurt!"

"I—"

His voice cracked, eyes wide with terror, and he broke out into a fit of coughs. Lightning squinted, shutting out all the background noise and listening for that one sound she needed to hear. Yes—there it was. His heartbeat. But—how?

Penelo's gaze alighted on Lightning, and her sweet disposition warped into a cruel, vicious snarl.

"Who's she?" she snapped.

Balthier couldn't answer coherently. "Someone… very special," he choked between coughs. "The one person who I cannot… _must not_ lose…"

"Oh. What a shame."

Her hand flashed through Lightning in a strange, graceful way, plunging through her body and right where her heart should have been beating. Penelo's lip curled in annoyance, but she smiled with horrid glee.

"Another one!" she shrilled. "You're just like Balthier, before I turned him back!" Penelo stepped forward and touched Lightning again, only this time her frown remained. "Curse the White Lady's protection!"

Balthier drew fomalhaut, still wheezing with ragged breaths. "Penelo, why are you here?"

She smirked and—_what in the world?_—yellow, rotting teeth appeared behind thin lips.

"I'm taking Balthier."

Red—that was all she could see when the dagger plunged through Balthier's chest, as he staggered against the wall and collapsed, as his heart slowly became a faint memory. Lightning screamed, drew her gunblade and ran at Penelo. But the dancer smiled and waved her hand, and Lightning, too, fell to the dirt.

* * *

><p>She felt… cold. Lightning willed herself from her sleep and opened her eyes, only to find that she was sinking further and further into water. Forcing her arms and legs to move, she swam to the surface and coughed, spluttering from the foul taste of sea water. Sea water? But—they hadn't been anywhere near an ocean…<p>

She took the hand in front of her face and stood, gasping when the hand she held felt so warm and comforting. It took her a moment to realize that this was Balthier—not Ffamran—helping her up.

"Balthier, you're alive…" she whispered.

"Yes… human again, it seems," he said with a slight, uncomfortable laugh.

"I mean, you were stabbed in the heart. I saw you fall." She reached forward and touched that beating spot on his chest, finally drawing close and leaning against him, taking in his newfound warmth of life.

"I don't remember any of that… I remember Penelo returning from the joining of all the evil souls, and I remember coming back to life when she touched me—painful, by the way, I don't recommend it—and then… it's blank."

To be brutally honest… Lightning could care less about Penelo. Balthier was alive again and no longer needed to devour humes and their souls to survive. No—but… what of the Madness?

"_It is time for you to decide, Ffamran._"

Both of them turned to see Penelo standing over a stone chest filled with pieces of gold, the skulls snickering and wailing at them. Lightning understood; this was one of the worlds Balthier told her about. This was Earth, more specifically the lair of famed pirate Cortes. This was Isla de Muerta.

"It's been six hundred years since that day: and I give you a choice now. You know what happened when you accepted the medallion, so that you could return home to Fran," Penelo continued, but Lightning hardly believed that this was truly Penelo. "That day, you threw away your humanity for a human choice. I give you the choice now: you may leave this cave—go back to witty Jack and the Black Pearl. Content yourself with the wind of the sea, the song of the gulls. Remain a human unto death…

"_Or take a coin. Become the monster again. Lose yourself like a ship in the storm, into the gullet of the maelstrom, never to return. Take your curse and die even as you live._"

Lightning hesitantly met Balthier's eyes. "Well," he said, "I have lived a long time. I have done… many things I am not proud of. Even as a monster, I am still a human. I can never be perfect."

_Nothing can be perfect_, she wanted to say. But this was his decision. _Just like my decision to die._

"But I have seen many good things, too," Balthier finally added. He reached down and held one of the horrid, yet strangely beautiful medallions and closed his fingers around it. Lightning shut her eyes and clung to him, listening as his heart faded into a memory.

When Penelo screamed, the world shattered and morphed into the skeletal catacombs, but the skulls' eyes shined brightly with red souls. Lightning scowled as Balthier pulled the dagger out from his chest, murmuring about how his vest was—yet again—ruined.

"You were supposed to say _no_!" Penelo wailed. "You were supposed to refuse and die! To refuse the curse of undeath and die by my blade—that was your fate, why do you rebel?"

She flew forward, scratching at his chest in an attempt to recover his medallion—his heart.

"_Do you know what my dying thought was? You knew the secret to immortality—you found the Fountain of Youth: and you didn't share it with us. You could have given us eternity, but—_"

"You _want_ that curse?" Lightning yelled. "You're more foolish than I thought, Penelo."

Penelo turned and glared, but it had no effect. Lightning wasn't afraid to die.

"That was silly, Light," Balthier told her as they were pulled away into a new realm. "Now you'll get caught up in her games, too."

* * *

><p>The skulls were gone, but Feolthanos' auracite stood in their place.<p>

"Why here?" she asked, voice cracking. No—not this place. This was where she lost her only chance at death… She could have let Feolthanos kill her, but… she was foolish and wanted to be with Ffamran.

"Light?"

She whirled around and caught his hand before he could touch her face. Ffamran looked at her strangely, tilting his head as if asking what was wrong.

"Ffamran…" she whispered, reaching out and touching his face. He was so warm… so real. He smiled and her heart melted; this wasn't a dream, this had to be real. "Ffamran…"

He was about to embrace her when a gunshot broke through the auracite and straight into Ffamran's chest. He collapsed at her feet, glassy eyes staring at her as if to plead for her help. Lightning couldn't take it anymore; she drew her gunblade and turned, running toward Feolthanos and screaming. The god vanished and reappeared when she swung her sword, teasing her with images of the past and the future; her future. She saw the Madness crying in a busy crowd, sobbing as a city crumbled around him—she saw Balthier wandering alone and a girl calling his name—she saw Serah crying over a grave, letting her pendant slip from her trembling fingers—

"_You can save him, Claire_," Penelo's childish voice crooned in her ears. "_Save your sweet little Ffamran. Slay Feolthanos—use his anima to restore the life of your loved one._"

_Make him Eternal._

She froze, her still heart weeping at the dancer's words. "Make Ffamran Eternal…?"

"_He would join you in eternity. You would never be alone._"

Feolthanos started to laugh, but when Lightning raised her gunblade again, he suddenly began to fade away. Someone else stood in his place… someone…

"_Don't do it, Light! See past the illusion—you were always the smartest of the l'Cie._"

"And why should I trust you, Feolthanos?"

"_Feolthanos is another illusion—I have no desire for eternity, Light. You said so yourself. It's a curse. Every day I blame myself for doing this to you._"

And then he was there.

Ffamran.

Lightning threw her gunblade aside and ran to him, holding his face and pressing their foreheads together. "Is it… really you?" she asked. "You're still here? You should have moved on a long time ago."

"_I should have, but I did not._"

She wanted to ask why, but now was not the time. "If this is you… what is that on the ground?"

"_A trap. You would have made… it… Eternal, and it would have leaped up and killed you. Look at it closely, Light. The Madness is what enables my other and I to see it, but can you?_"

She moved away from him and looked down, and—_what in the world?_

"I was going to give _that_ immortality?" she asked, staring at the deformed, ocean-borne fiend before turning back to Ffamran.

"_Indeed. And… even if you did, I would be very disappointed in you, Light. That you would consider making me immortal… it is most unacceptable._"

Penelo materialized before them, impatiently glaring. "Is that your decision?"

"Yes," Lightning said, clinging to Ffamran's hand.

"Hm… and I wished you would bring my puppet to life."

Lemures became another memory, a ghost of the past. Ffamran was gone when Lightning opened her eyes, but Balthier was still there, holding her hand.

"_I just remembered my dying thought… I thought that you would be lonely, being immortal all alone._" And then Penelo vanished—or was it really Penelo?

Balthier closed his eyes, taking a deep breath despite how much he hated it. Lightning smiled for a moment; just for a moment.

"Calypso…"

"_Human._"

"Why?"

"_Am I not entitled to see my creation?_"

He smirked. "Creation, is it…? I was under the impression that you were dead."

"_I am the shadow of the goddess Calypso. Soon I will fade._"

"Then tell us: who put you up to this?"

"_A lion. He knew I wanted to see you again—to try to break you again._"

Hashmal. Lightning shut her eyes; she knew this would happen. Yet why was she so surprised?

"And why drag Lightning into this?" Balthier urged.

"_A test. To see her will to let go of the past._"

"And?"

Silence. Lightning bit her lip, removing her hand from Balthier's grip.

"Lightning? Do you think… think you passed the test?"

She turned away and left, but she knew that the ghosts would never leave her alone. Not when she was just a ghost of the past herself.

* * *

><p>'<em>What troubles you, Claire?'<em>

Lightning sighed when she lay down on the bed mat, turning the Serpentarius Stone in her hands. Of course Ragnarok could see that something was wrong; he always knew her best, it seemed. Agrias was already asleep, tired out by the day's events despite how little they had accomplished.

"It's… it's nothing, really," she whispered, sighing again.

'_You're sad. Don't bother lying, Claire. Lindzei can see through any lie. He says you're worried about a certain soul who has not yet passed through Etro's great Door of Souls._'

Damn that snake.

"Look, Ffamran can do as he pleases. I could really care less why he had to stay behind. It'll be his fault when he finally does pass on and gets lectured by Snow and Fran."

'_I'm sure he knows what awaits him. Perhaps that is why he is so afraid to move on. He'd be leaving you behind, after all._'

"He left me that day in the Glabados Ruins. I'm just… worried about why he never tried to tell me he never actually left."

'_He wants to tell you. I can lead you to him, if that is what you want._'

"I thought you were still mad at me."

'_Oh he is,_' Lindzei said cheerfully. '_But he hates seeing you like this. He is too proud to admit how much he cares for you, Lightning Farron._'

"I'll keep that in mind the next time he pisses me off." She clenched the Stone and dashed out of the tent, ignoring the worried look Balthier gave her from where he sat by the fire.

She had been searching for most of the night, following a trail of faint footsteps and whispered words through the forest, the night sky glimmering just beyond the clouds. The Serpentarius Stone guided her on this path, often glowing brightly if she was going the right way, and dimming to a dark hue if she strayed. Lightning tucked the Stone away when a warm feeling drifted into her heart, and she stepped into the clearing with a slow pace, keeping her eyes still for a moment.

"Ffamran?" she called in a small voice. "Ragnarok said you wanted to talk… So just where are you?"

The wind blew across her cheek like the caress of a hand. She spun, breath hitching when she saw a ghostly figure watching her like a raven keeping track of its kin. Ffamran slowly stepped down from the tree and smiled, extending one of his hands. Lightning took it, but was not surprised when she found that his faint skin was cold.

"You've kept me waiting," she said, meeting his gaze. "I was convinced you'd already left, but… You've been with me the whole time. Haven't you?"

Ffamran nodded. "_I am sorry. It took me years to find you, and when I had… I came across my other self. Then, Ragnarok—he made sure I was safe_." His voice echoed with the wind, and his hands were so cold. Lightning reached up and lightly held his face, afraid that one touch would break him. "_You were right to think I had moved on, and for a while I thought so, too, but…_" He sighed. "_I am lost_."

"Lost?"

"_My other self has told me much about what happens to ghosts when they roam the world for too long. Surely he's told you? Those who do not move on become twisted_."

Lightning shook her head, resting against his chest. "Why did you look for me?" she asked, pained by the thoughts running rampant and consuming all hope. "You should have gone after the others, they must miss you…"

"_It was my fault you're cursed like this, Light_." He tilted her chin up with a finger, and she made to retort, but he cut her off. "_I should have learned to get over it and let you be at peace, but I pulled you from the skies and damned you to this land to walk eternity alone. I never wanted that_."

"So you stayed behind to apologize? Ffamran, you… You can't stay."

He was running his fingers through her hair, taking in the scent of roses. "_For a little longer. I can last that long. My soul is not yet tainted, not completely_."

"Ragnarok can't protect your soul forever. I don't—I don't want to be the one to hold you back when you lose yourself." She took a deep breath, and rain threatened to fall from her eyes. "Ffamran, go. Please, leave this world and find the others. You're not safe here."

"_Safe from what? Etro has already taken my payment, so she does not care enough to watch me. Ragnarok will last until the gods die, and my other self is too stubborn and afraid to die. And I won't lose myself until I lose you_."

"But I'm not the only one who needs you. Don't you remember the others? Don't you remember Snow?" she whispered. "Or have you already forgotten?"

Ffamran enclosed his fingers around hers, resting his chin atop her head. "_Amnesia hasn't plagued me since I departed Pulse all those years ago. Of course I remember Ice; that fool never leaves my mind_."

"So go! You can't stay here, not with me. Ffamran—Balthier..." She pulled away suddenly, shutting her eyes to stop the tears. "Just go… Leave this world."

The look he gave her shattered everything she knew. Ffamran stepped away from her, lips parted as silence claimed him. He looked torn; his eyes looked from her to distant figures behind her, ghosts of the past calling his name and urging him to come home. Ffamran shook his head. Lightning curled her fingers about her auracite crystal and threw it to the dirt, rain suddenly pouring from the skies.

"Go!" she cried. "I don't… I don't need you anymore!"

The wind ceased, but the leaves drifted from the ground and flew to the sky. Ffamran walked past, resting a hand on her shoulder before vanishing from sight, the warm feeling in her heart departing to lands unknown.

_As you wish._

Lightning collapsed to her knees in the mud, staring with grief stricken eyes as the auracite's last light faded away. She let the tears fall, clutching the auracite crystal to her chest and whispering his name. But he was gone…

Arms wrapped around her—warm, pleasant arms—and she started to sob. Balthier said nothing and just held her there, letting her cry and break the long awaited silence of a ghost's departure from the visible world.

* * *

><p>Agrias placed the warm mug of water in Lightning's hands with a tender motion, her gaze lingering on the squire's puffy eyed and forlorn appearance before joining Ramza at the other side of the fire. Somewhere behind the tents, Cidolfus was muttering about tricks and vanishing swords, but Lightning was in no mood to smile. She felt Balthier's hand tighten about her wrist, but it seemed like she could hardly focus on what the others were saying.<p>

"We carry three Stones: Gemini, Capricorn and Serpentarius. Two of those Lucavi have passed on, but one remains," Ramza said nobly. "Though I doubt we need a Lucavi's assistance in this fight."

"And just what are we fighting?" Agrias asked.

"The other Lucavi have all spoken of a master… an Angel of Blood. And that sea goddess: what was it she said, pir—pardon, Balthier?"

Lightning turned to look at him: Balthier was just as shocked as she was to hear Ramza call him something other than 'monster' or 'pirate'.

"A lion told her to confront me and break my will," he answered, partially flustered. He released his hold on Lightning, but chose not to sit elsewhere. She was glad for that—she could barely handle her emotions after… after…

She shut her eyes. Nothing mattered, for she would soon join Ffamran in the afterlife.

So she hoped.

"There's only one Lucavi that fits that descriptor. Hashmal has followed our trail of bread crumbs and is ready to end the hunt." Balthier smirked. "Whether we end it on our own terms is your choice."

"So I must be the one to make the final decision?" Ramza forced a laugh, turning the Gemini Stone over in his hands.

"If it were up to me, I wouldn't be here. But since I'm, ah, _included_ in this little venture, I can't back out now."

"Why not?"

He glanced toward Lightning, a stressed sigh escaping his lips. "I am only here to see how this story will unfold… To be quite honest, I sometimes wish for the happy ending that has evaded me for so long."

Cidolfus returned, brandishing his sword in front of Balthier with a half amused and half furious glint in his eyes. Ramza and Agrias were both suddenly intrigued by the stars in the sky.

"You may tell the Madness that just because he dozed off during our card game and lost, does not mean he can tie my sword in trees when I'm not looking," the aging knight grumbled.

Balthier frowned, then almost smiled. Almost. "I wasn't aware of this. Perhaps Lindzei is the culprit, not I."

_Madness?_ Lightning squinted—his eyes were nearly silver again.

"However, I will say that it would be wise of you to watch where you toss your weapons aside at night. You might accidentally skewer someone."

She had never seen her mentor so annoyed in her life. Cidolfus pointed the blade at Balthier's neck, turning the sky pirate's head to the side. "And I must tell you that it is wise to mind where your little friend does at night. Are you aware that he watches my Phoenix as she sleeps?" he asked.

Thankfully the Madness was not offended, though Balthier looked less than pleased. "He's had that habit for a few weeks now."

"You've not tried to stop him?"

"I do as I please, and so does he."

Lightning stood abruptly, clenching her eyes shut. "I'm going to bed," she announced. "I'll take the last watch of the night."

She didn't care to let them answer; she went right into her tent and crawled under the blankets, wrapping her arms around herself and releasing a shaky sigh. Though she understood that it wouldn't be much longer until she joined the others in the beyond, it still… _hurt _to watch Ffamran go. But he was safe now—that was all that mattered.

'_Claire.'_

Biting her lip, she pulled the blankets closer and hid her face. The Serpentarius Stone slipped from her pocket, and as the Stone started to glow, she could feel Ragnarok's touch on her head.

'_Don't do this, Claire.'_

"All I have to do is wait, Ragnarok. Then I can be with him again," she whispered, allowing her eyes to rest on his partially transparent appearance. His crimson glare searched for reason, but he would find none.

'_You could stay.'_

"I can't—I can't do that. Not this time." Her voice cracked like broken glass. "I saw that world years ago, and I wanted to stay there… but Ffamran took me away. I saw my warm sun, I could hear the waves crashing against the sands of eternity…"

His fingers trailed along her cheekbone, barely there yet still comforting. _'It was only a dream, princess.'_

"Was it?"

Ragnarok turned and scowled, vanishing before her eyes and allowing her to see that someone stood outside her tent. Balthier crept in silently, gaze lowered and expression apathetic. When she tried to say something, to find out just what he overheard, he sat down beside her and rested his forehead against hers.

What worried her was that he hadn't said a thing. He closed his eyes and waited—waited for what?

She had seen the distant shore in her dreams, all her long lost friends waiting for her to join them. She had felt at peace, yet that peace was nothing compared to what she felt now, with Balthier wordlessly soothing and mending her broken heart. There was no white sand at their feet, no smiling faces and words of endearment. Her distant shore had slipped from her grasp at her first glimpse of eternity.

Balthier pulled away, but Lightning grabbed his hand and held him back, tightening her fingers about his.

"Stay," she whispered. "Just for tonight."

Her heart ached when he pressed his lips to her forehead.

"As you wish."

* * *

><p>She didn't know when he left, though it had been hardly midnight when she awoke from her sleep and reached across the bed mat, hoping to find him laying there, watching her dream. She had dreamt of blue skies and ships that could fly. Lightning pulled on her armor with this in mind, sheathing her gunblade as she exited the tent.<p>

Just by the fire pit, a frightened merchant spoke to Ramza in a frantic tone.

"—the fiend barged into my shop and stole from me! I tracked it here, but it's gone further into the forest!"

"A fiend?" Lightning asked, joining the group. Balthier was noticeably absent, which probably wasn't a good sign.

Cidolfus sighed. "A skeletal one. Our godless friend must have been busy this night."

"What did it steal?" Ramza urged.

"A necklace—a fine one, at that. My best piece in the shop," the merchant said. "I crafted the charm from the finest of metals into a lightning bolt. Worth nearly two-thousand gil."

Lightning closed her eyes when Cidolfus smirked at her knowingly.

"We might as well go after this fiend," he suggested. "It is not often that heretics are asked to aid the helpless."

"If he decides to turn on us at the last minute, I'll give him to Balthier," she growled, storming off into the forest.

* * *

><p>"Today happens to be a special day, I think," Cidolfus said to her as they walked side-by-side behind Ramza and Agrias. "Why do you think he went off to get you that necklace?"<p>

She kept a firm grip on her gunblade. "I… lost my auracite necklace. Maybe Balthier thinks I needed something to replace it." That was a lie: she knew was today was. Her birthday. Her deathday. Ultima's inevitable return. There was no turning back now that she was ready to die. Yet… _was_ she ready?

Agrias' voice dragged her from her thoughts.

"There it is! Now!"

She went to strike the skeletal fiend perched on a headstone, clutching something in its hands. Of course, Balthier was faster than her and carelessly flung her into the bushes. Ramza yelled out and went to her aid, leaving Lightning and Cidolfus to deal with the apparently rabid Balthier. Cidolfus wasted no time and thrust his sword into Balthier's thin neck, allowing Lightning to dash forward and shove the sky pirate into the nearest river.

"Blast it—Ramza!" Balthier spat, shaking the water from his decaying skin. "Do you have _any_ idea how long it takes to dry out like this?"

"Balthier?" Lightning asked, slightly surprised he was sane for the time being. "What are you—I thought that you would have had the sense to lie low when the moon was out?"

She extended her hand and helped him out of the water; his bony hands were rough against her skin. "I apologize. I had to go out today—there was something rather important I had to attend to."

"Eating humes?"

"No, it's been a while."

"A while? You know how dangerous that is!" she hissed, noticing that Cidolfus was watching. "How long?"

He didn't answer. Frustrated, Lightning grabbed a bottle of eye drops from her pack and dumped the contents on his face, leaving him spluttering and confused.

"Gods—damned—! I'm wet enough already, Light, it's going to take _hours_ for me to dry!"

"I guess I should be sorry, then. I'm the one who threw you into the river."

"And I suppose I might get my sword back, may I?" Cidolfus asked. "I feared it lost when you fell into the river, but you brought it back with you."

The old knight easily heaved the sword out from Balthier's neck, then stepped back as if he expected Lightning to lash out at them both. She planned on doing just that—at least to Balthier.

"You haven't answered my question yet," she murmured.

"A week," he told her timidly.

"How have you managed?" She touched his chin and made him look her in the eyes. Just like last night, his eyes were close to becoming the Madness' silver glare.

"I tried fiend blood, but it only delays the inevitable and seems to make the hunger worse once it wears off." As if to apologize for keep secrets, he kissed the back of her hand. She wouldn't deny her own guilt for keeping secrets, but now was not the time.

"Cidolfus, an antidote!"

It was Ramza, carrying a very pale and ill Agrias in his arms. She hardly looked alive. Lightning went to her pack and dug for any sort of antidote, but Cidolfus was quicker and administered the serum, only to discover it was useless.

"It's too strong, the antidote does not take," he said, trying to think up another solution. Balthier held the holy knight's hand and plucked the thorns and splinters from her skin with his teeth. He met Lightning's eyes tensely, hunger leaking from his silver glare.

"May I?"

_It's too risky, he might lose control, I can't trust him—_

She nodded. "Only if you can stop."

"I give you permission to do whatever you can if I don't."

Lightning shut her eyes when he began to drink the poisoned blood.

* * *

><p>Later, when Agrias was sound asleep and being watched over by Ramza, Lightning found Balthier huddled underneath a tree, clutching his stomach and whining. She sat down beside him and allowed him to rest his head on her lap, closing her eyes briefly before speaking.<p>

"I told you, you should have spit it out instead of drinking it," she said, shaking her head as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I didn't want to waste it," he answered in a brooding manner, then held back a short. "And… I was too hungry."

She looked toward the moonlit sky, smiling softly. She wondered if Ffamran had reached the Door yet. He was safe there as long as he didn't try to come after her, wasn't he? It didn't matter; he was well protected.

"Fascinating!" came Cidolfus' voice not too far away. "I did not think it was possible for the dead to be affected by poisons."

"It is not possible," Balthier answered. "But the poison entered my body through Agrias' blood. It's… it's destroying me from the inside…"

Ramza walked over, holding his sword. "It is what a fiend like you deserves. To be destroyed by the very thing that sustains you—how just."

"Just—just, he says!" Balthier almost laughed, but Lightning touched his face with her much cooler hand. "After all I have done—with nary a 'thank you', by the way, and all I am is a fiend deserving justice? It is hardly fair; I have good intentions, I assure you of that. All that is wrong with me is that I am an animated corpse that must feed on humes to survive, and suddenly I am a fiend. You hardly look at Lightning the way you look at me; hasn't it occurred to you that she is an undead, just like me?"

Lightning narrowed her eyes. "Balthier…"

"Hm… I don't see anyone calling the humes monsters for slaughtering cows and sheep and eating their flesh."

"Well, yes, but beasts aren't intelligent," Cid said.

"Who said so? It is no different for me—I, too, must partake of flesh and blood, yet for that I am hunted and persecuted—'monster', they said, 'fiend'. What would they say if they knew that, once upon a time, the Godless Thief was hume? Long ago—long enough to forget what it is like, to feel my own blood stir in my veins."

He moved away from her, crouching low to the ground and smiling hauntingly.

"Humes fear what they don't know. They fear the abyss—but what is death? A beyond? A void? A city, perhaps, sideways, of course—with water for sky and eternity stretching out below. One small step—and drop!" He laughed, oddly musical to Lightning's ears. "In the past, the unknown was explored—my father explored. I remember that much. To find what could not be found. That was to be hume. And now—to explore what you fear. The undead. Whatever could they be?"

Lightning stood just as he drew his Darkblade from his belt, that strange silver gleam stealing her courage like a thief in the night.

"_I want to know_!"

He had her pinned against the tree in an instant, pressing the blade against her neck to tilt her head up to the moon. The others moved to protect her, but Balthier regarding them with little interest.

"Balthier, this isn't you," she shakily whispered. "Stop losing yourself to others—is it the Madness? Whoever is there, _stop_."

She reached for his hand, but the blade pricked her neck and drew blood as red as roses. Balthier moved close as if to kiss her, but only licked away the blood and smiled at her. "Hm… your skin is so very, very sweet," he breathed. "I wonder what it would taste like once… exposed to a little air."

He nipped at her neck, and when she made to grab her gunblade, he plucked it from her side and tossed it away like a meaningless toy.

"Let go of me, Balthier. You don't want to do this. Come with me," she urged. "We'll find other things for you to eat…"

"I'm rather partial to you, you see… I don't want anyone else's blood but yours. I'm so hungry. Your scent is driving me mad. Now… let's get back to this dissection business. How shall I cut you up? Or, because I am so very fond of you, I will let you tell me how you will liked to be cut up."

"I don't want to be cut up," she pleaded. "You're out of your mind. Come back, Balthier—_Ffamran_…"

But he was already sinking his teeth in her flesh, greedily sucking the blood from her body. Her knees went limp, and she could barely stand when he suddenly whipped away from her, cursing in pain. Cidolfus caught her before she could stumble to the ground, murmuring words of dark magick to heal her.

The rest of the night was a blur. She remembered hearing Balthier cry her name, then Fran's, but neither of them could save him from himself. One was damned for eternity, the other sought death to escape eternity…

As Cidolfus tightened the bandage around her neck, he mentioned that Ramza had tied Balthier to a tree so he wouldn't hurt anyone else. Partially feeling at fault, she went to the sky pirate and punched him twice, though later informed him that she didn't blame him one bit.

But that didn't stop him from apologizing profusely.

"Balthier, _enough_," she finally snapped. He looked up at her from where he knelt on the ground. "I understand. Apologies won't fix _anything_. All we can do is move forward. You got the damn blood you needed, though I'll be a flandragora if I knew why you held off so long."

"All the people we met on the way were important others in this party. Believe it or not, I do discriminate about who will be my prey for the night." She didn't smile, and he added, "Most of the time. It won't happen again."

As strange as it seemed, she knew he wasn't lying.

* * *

><p>By morning, all Lightning wanted to do was stay in her tent and exile herself. There was no turning back, she constantly reminded herself. She made her choice the day Mustadio died. Nothing could change that.<p>

She crawled out of her tent silently, but a glittering piece of jewelry blocked her path to the firepit.

"What's this?" she asked, staring blankly at Balthier's smirking face.

"For you. I may be old, but I do remember the more important days of the year." He dropped the necklace into her hands and closed her fingers around the chain, pressing his lips to hers in a swift, brief motion. "I am sorry about last night."

"This morning, actually. It was past midnight when we found you." She couldn't resist smiling, even though Ramza watched them with his keen eyes. "But thank you. This… this means a lot to me."

_More than you know._

When he walked off, probably to see how Agrias was faring, Lightning tied the charm around her neck and held it between two fingers. The lightning-bolt was a bit darker than her old one, but… having it over her heart brought back memories of happier days. But those thoughts only served to remind her that she would be saying good-bye for the last time.

She wanted to drop to her knees in front of Balthier and beg him to stop her, to say that he needed her to be with him. But it was hopeless. She wanted to live just as much as she wanted to die.

Time passed quickly. They reached Orbonne late in the afternoon, and by that time all Lightning could think about was how she would go about admitting her mistake to Balthier. He must have known by now, unless he was in denial just like her. Since they left camp that morning, Ragnarok hectored her about leaving the past behind and moving on. If Ffamran could do it, why couldn't she?

"Look, Ragnarok, I'm sorry," she whispered to him when he materialized at her side. The others were ahead a few paces, talking amongst themselves about a strange gathering of Mist in the monastery. "I don't know what to do."

'_Then stay. You could rule Midlight's Deep with me. Lindzei won't admit it, but he appreciates your presence.'_

"I'm… not entirely sure what to say to that, so I'll pretend I didn't hear it."

He stood in front of her and held her face with warm hands. _'Please. Do not make me watch you die again.'_

She pushed past him and went to the others. Balthier met her gaze and smiled weakly as if he understood just what was on her mind. Agrias, still weary from the poison, looked at the map she held.

"We're almost there," she said. "Orbonne, where it all began."

"It has only been a few months since we were here…" Ramza mused. "I remember seeing you fight Delita, Lady Claire. You nearly died—or so we thought at the time. Two knights, the Thunder God, the Godless Thief and the Phoenix. We are a strange lot, aren't we?"

Lightning nodded. "As strange as it gets."

It was Cidolfus who led the way down below the monastery, though Ramza followed closely behind, eager to find his sister. Lightning, however, remembered the last time she had been there; silently, she wished that the Virgo Stone could be attuned to someone else.

"Why so worried?" Balthier asked, falling into step with her. "You've been staring at the ground since we arrived, and I know dirt and grime is not all that interesting."

"I guess being buried alive isn't as glamorous as one would think," she answered, smirking.

"Next time you get caught by headhunters, I might as well let them hang you if you're going to tease me."

Her heart sank. "Right."

A glowing light inside the cavern caught their eyes, and Mist leaked from the walls and around their feet, a quiet voice laughing within. Balthier began to run, heading for the others, when a thunderous roar erupted from above. The lion threw itself at him, but Balthier was fast and drew his gun and shot the creature between the eyes.

Blood splashed across his face, but Hashmal only laughed and turned, facing Lightning. "_My goddess and master, still you do not wake_. _We have come too far to taste defeat at the hands of humans and insignificant monsters. The sea goddess was wise and told me you would come; your heart yearns for the dead._"

Balthier growled and made to strike, but Cidolfus grabbed him by the arm and held him back.

"Ramza!" Alma's voice pierced the darkness, and she ran out from the shadows and into her brother's arms. "Ramza, we have to go, _now_. That lion was a man before—the one who took me—but he's a monster now. Please, we can't stay!"

"_Silence! I'll not have you interrupt Her return, not again!_" Hashmal bowed his head to Lightning, and—she shut her eyes—smiled. "_Angel of Blood, that you should rise, my life I gladly take!_"

He reached down and pulled at his ribs, tearing his skin apart in a burst of Mist. Lightning covered her eyes with her free arm, wincing as warm blood and rotten fur splattered onto her skin. She heard little Alma cry out, but she was in no immediate danger. Ramza and Agrias were protecting her, and Cidolfus would always jump into battle to defend the weak.

A blue crystal tear rolled out from the blood.

"_I was waiting._"

Lightning could not believe her eyes. Her lips parted slightly, and her feet seemed to be moving all on their own, ignoring any resistance her heart held. Balthier shot her an uneasy glance and remained on guard, as did the rest of their party.

It was her. Serah.

"_Where have you been?_" Serah asked, reaching for her elder sister. "_I've... I've been so lost, Claire. I could hear your voice, I really could… but…_"

Biting her lip, Lightning walked forward and embraced the girl. "Serah, I'm sorry," she whispered. Why hadn't she crossed over yet? "I didn't mean to make you worry. We're together now, and that's all that matters, right?"

Serah laughed faintly. "_You sound just like that fool…_"

"Fool?" Lightning drew away, keeping her hands firmly placed on Serah's shoulders. "Serah, you love him. You never… called him that. You're…" This wasn't real. "You're dead."

A thin smile twisted her expression. "_I am dead,_" Serah said dreamily. "_But I am so very alive, Claire. I want to be like you, dearest sister! You were always so tough and calm… Oh, how I wanted to follow in your footsteps. But you fell for that pirate and changed!_" She was pleading now. "_Come with me, Claire. Destroy the world!_"

"Stop it!" Lightning reached for her gunblade, but Serah grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away.

"_You can't do that…You_ love _me too much_." Serah snickered as Lightning struggled. "_You do._"

Her heart was on fire. It burned with Holy magick, searing through her veins and pulling at her now pulsing heart. She couldn't breathe—the pain was too much! Serah was laughing, her soul essence taking Lightning's body and warping it into something she couldn't recognize. But she had been here before… yes, this was just like before.

As Lightning's mind fell into the darkness, Ultima smiled.

* * *

><p>The white abyss greeted her like a long lost child, enveloping her in warmth and peculiar comfort. Lightning walked for a while, waiting for Ragnarok to pull her out after tearing her soul from Ultima's crystal. He promised her he would do all he could to save her—not that he wanted to kill her, of course, but there was not much else he could do. After all, this was her choice.<p>

Unfortunately, she was beginning to regret it.

She saw the other vessels of the Lucavi wandering as well, but this time she didn't stop for a chat. She already understood that it wasn't their intention to become corrupted; they were tricked into becoming monsters. There was no need for them to apologize, anyway. Etro would accept them into her world no matter what.

As she went through her dream realm, Lightning saw something rustle in the grass not too far away, then she heard the unmistakable meow of a curious, but also very mad cat.

"Madness?" she whispered, spotting the creamy furred creature crouching in the grass. He sat up in a heartbeat, smiling when he saw her.

"Lightning!" he cried, bounding to her and jumping in her arms. She laughed when he kissed her cheek, and allowed him to lean into her neck and purr happily. "I knew I felt you in this world, I knew I did!"

She moved so he could lie in her lap, stroking his soft fur and enjoying the feeling of comfort and joy before her world crumbled to pieces. "You've gained some weight," she noted, tickling his furry stomach. "The last time I saw you, you were all bones."

"Don't talk about that, Claire. I never wanted you to see," he complained, shuddering slightly.

"It's okay. Sure, it didn't look beautiful, but shouldn't you be more accepting of yourself?"

He merely shrugged. "When this is all over, we will have to spend more time together. No more of this fifty years apart business. Balthier may not mind so much, but I care, very much so."

She closed her eyes. "I was wrong. I was wrong to deceive you, and now that I've listened to you tell me how much you would miss me and seen how much you want me to stick around… it's wrong for me to keep you in the dark."

He stared up at her worriedly, his purring slowing a bit. "Light?"

"When this is all over… I'm leaving."

"No! Please—it's… you're just going to… to Goug, of Midlight's Deep to visit the old places, right? You'll be back, won't you? Light?" When she didn't answer, he prodded his paws at her chest desperately. "Claire!"

"It's… forever, Madness. I'm moving on."

"So… you're really leaving me…"

She expected him to cry—she would have, too, but realization had yet to strike. He huddled against her and sobbed hopelessly, and when she lay down, he pawed at her hair and necklace, as if to find some way to make her stay. When his sobs became stifled sniffles, he placed both paws on her face and stared, memorizing every feature he could see. She reached up and rubbed his pads, sighing softly.

"If… if you wish, you can eat my soul. Keep me inside of you, like you do with Fran's. You will never be alone—I'll be with you, always."

The Madness surrendered a weak, somewhat amused laugh. "Offering your soul to me? That takes courage, Light."

She shut her eyes; it didn't matter where she was, as long as she wasn't alive… perhaps things would be all right. She was about to open her eyes again when the Madness pressed his small lips against hers, much like Balthier had earlier that day: chaste, and loving.

"I won't take it," he told her. "You don't deserve to be damned again. Claire, I… I really love you, you know. I am not sad to see you go just because we will be lonely. It's that we love you, so very much."

_We love you._

"Birds don't deserve to be caged. When you fly away, I will watch you go every step of the way."

She smiled, tears threatening her own eyes. "Silly. If I'm flying, how will I walk one step at all?"

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><p>He dozed off not long after, and that was when Lightning could feel her soul slipping away from her dream. She stood, setting the Madness down in the grass and left to see if Etro had come to collect her soul.<p>

Had Ragnarok killed her already? Balthier was attuned to his Stone since that day on Pulse… She smiled at the memory. It had been so long; she wondered if everyone was all right back there. Surely Serah was safe, since the girl she saw before was just an illusion created by the Virgo Stone. And, besides that, Lightning knew her sister was well protected.

When Lightning found that there was no Door waiting for her, she turned around and went back to where she hoped the Madness waited. She heard something, like the lonely sob of a ghost.

The Madness cried for her, wailing at the top of his lungs like a kitten pining for its mother. Lightning quickened her pace and held her breath, fearing that something was terribly, terribly wrong. This was her dream realm, her only true home since leaving Pulse; nothing could go wrong here. She allowed a sigh to escape her lips when she found the Madness sitting upright in the roses, mewling pathetically.

"I can't leave you for a second, can I?" she asked, resting her hands on her hips. The Madness whirled and leapt into her arms, purring so loud that she thought his heart was beating. He was still crying, and she wasn't completely sure if they were tears of sadness or joy.

"Don't _do_ that, Claire. Don't you dare try to leave when I'm not looking." The Madness rubbed against her neck. "I'm supposed to watch you leave so that I can tell your story, remember? How am I supposed to do that if I'm sleeping?"

Lightning held the creature close, burying her face in his soft, warm fur. "I know you'll tell my story," she whispered. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

When she moved her fingers to stroke the Madness' fur, her hand went right through as if caressing the air. Frantic, she stepped back and held out the Madness only to find that he was gone; vanished from her dream realm. Her heart was quiet but she could feel it pounding in her chest as fear pulsed through her veins. She whirled around, calling for the Madness, but there was no cry, no comforting purr, and no melodious voice to lull her to sleep.

There were faces staring down at her from the cliffs, blocking the sunlight and condemning her dream to darkness. Faces of the Lucavi, her companions, her family… _Ffamran_… Lightning screamed, covering her face and crouching into the roses. But they wilted at her touch, withering into skeletal statues as cold as ice.

_Lightning._

She froze, her fingers slipping slowly from her face. Her dream fizzled away, the faces vanished like the ghosts they were, and suddenly a white flash of pain struck her—Holy magick? No, this was much worse. She was laying on her back, staring up at a crystallized cavern with a blank, empty stare. She felt cold and languid and wanted to just fall asleep for eternity. Yet—she wanted to live. To _exist_...

Someone knelt over her. No, not someone—Ragnarok? She looked at herself, nearly brought to tears at her bloodied appearance; or was it Ultima? She couldn't say a word, for her mind was not her own, but she longed to tell Ragnarok that she was sorry. Why?—she felt so cold. Ragnarok bit her neck, and everything slowly began to dissipate; Ragnarok, too, was fading away. But in his place was a slightly disheveled Balthier, but his droopy eyes widened at the sight of Lightning, laying in the grass.

"No," he whispered, taking her in his arms. "Light, don't do this…"

The others were there, but Lightning could hardly see them. They were still alive, not cursed with the life of eternity or a monstrous appearance. She rested her head in the crook of Balthier's arm, breathing in the soft scent of gunpowder and leather. _Home_, she thought faintly. _Am I finally home?_

This was Etro's realm, and the Door of Souls was towering over them, an inexorable destination for the departed. The goddess herself appeared, a ball of light drifting with the clouds until she took Lightning's mirrored form. Only she was not pale and losing her soul to the afterlife.

This was it. This was the end.

_"You have been here before, my Eternal daughter. You made the choice to walk the earth and watch your Humes pass away… But I know what your heart truly wants. The one you long for is waiting; he has found peace, but he waits._"

Lightning smiled weakly, closing her eyes for a moment. Balthier looked at her as if she were already gone, and he shook her by the shoulder to wake her up. She could see it in his eyes, that spark of life he held on to even when his humanity was lost to the Madness. But the Madness wasn't a monster, she understood now.

He touched her cheek, but his skin was not as cold as hers. For once, he was the warmer one. Lightning turned a weary eye toward Etro, where she found Ragnarok watching her and Balthier with a heartbroken stare.

"_Etro, let her live_," Ragnarok pleaded. "_You cannot_—_you cannot take her life now! You cursed her, and only now you steal her from me?_"

The goddess brought her hands to her chest, praying. "_I will only do what she wants_," Etro spoke softly. "_This is her choice, Ragnarok. You cannot change that._"

Ragnarok turned fervently, and—were those tears in his eyes? Lightning could hardly keep herself awake, the Door was calling her home. She wondered if this was how Ffamran felt when he died in her arms… when she begged him to stay. She willed herself to look at Balthier; would he beg her to stay, too?

"Ragnarok," Lightning whispered, and he was at her side immediately. "You'll… keep an eye on things for me, won't you?"

"_Ivalice will falter without her Phoenix,_" the god solemnly said. "_But I promise you: I will not let her fade as just a myth. Not again._"

He moved away, keeping his gaze toward the ground. The Door gave another tug at her soul, but she wasn't ready. There was so much she had to say, so much to atone for, and yet… Her time had scarred the earth and left a deep gash. It was time to leave, to return to where she belonged. They were waiting—Ffamran was waiting. He waited for her for so long, from the moment she admitted her feelings to the time she forced him to leave the visible world.

Lightning's vision became a clouded haze, but she could feel Balthier's grip on her body tighten. _Madness, Balthier… I'm so sorry_, she wanted to say but her lips were too cold and stiff. _I believe you_—_I really do._

She took a deep breath, whimpering at how much her chest hurt. Like a stinging bite from a snake, her soul stressed for the Door. There was not much time. She reached a trembling hand and touched Balthier's cheek, and he slowly took her hand in his own.

"_I…_" her voice was a ghost, her soul was leaving. "_I love you._"

Balthier smiled, but his heart was not in it. "Was there no other way?" he asked hopelessly, but she could not answer. _No, there was no other way._

_This is good-bye._

Lightning sighed, closing her eyes, and let her soul walk through the Door.


	5. Epilogue: Valhalla

So here's the epilogue... it's told from Ragnarok's point of view, rather than Lightning's. And, no surprise here, we're actually continuing this series. We have the sequel... sorta close to being done. Anyway, thanks for reading our epic crossover-crossover series!

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><p>Valhalla. Palace of the dead. City of dying dreams. This is where I long to rest. But I cannot depart the living world, for I made a promise I don't dare break.<p>

I promised you that I would protect all you loved… yet how can I protect them when they choose to leave their humanity behind? How can I, a mere god bound to a cracked Stone, protect anyone? How can I love what you loved?

How can I love when you are dead?

'_I tried_'—that is all I can say when they ask why I could not stop you. '_I tried_'. I tried to save you, to pull you back from the Door… but your soul was never mine to claim. You did not love me, not like you loved the damned.

I am not damned. I live… but you are dead.

What is it you long for, rose? You found your distant shore. That is what you wanted, isn't it?

I have seen that shore, long ago. We both caught a glimpse that day when the serpent stole your life—I, too, died that day. Yet here I still stand in my garden of mist. Why is it you could pass on so swiftly while I could not—no, _cannot_?

I am afraid, rose. I am afraid of lies behind that Door.

He is afraid, too, yet he would never dare challenge the goddess to revive your pure soul. He searches for you, even now. I cannot help but wonder if we had both tried to stop you… would you have stayed?

Not for me, of course. For him.

Them? Yes. A heart encased in gold, a soul torn apart by madness… Two minds, one body. One soul. One soul that loves you more than you could ever know.

I am but one man. I grow older as the days pass by, and soon I will join you on your distant shore. I will walk where he cannot. But I know your heart will not be sated with my love—it never was, no matter how hard I tried. There are others with you beyond the Door, others that died while you lived. Some died in your arms, others in battle—but all were taken from you, or so you believed.

'_The goddess of death is cruel_,' the mad one tells me. '_She takes what she desires: the humes she created so she might be loved_. _Love, yes, love! What is it? Do you know, old man?_' he asks me. '_You love her—but you cannot have her. You are old; when will you die?_'

Can you see him? Can you look beyond the silver glass, beyond the cold Door, and see what he will become?

He has changed. His eyes look through me as if I am a ghost; he whispers to the dead and asks if he is worthy. He wanders hopelessly, murmuring apologies that the dead cannot hear. I fear that I have failed him. And in turn, that means I have failed you. Have I?

'_Get you to the Door_,' the mad one says to no one important. '_Get—get! Leave me here, so I might rot in the ground and feed the worms._'

The serpent smiles at this. Smiles and laughs. I cannot bear to look either of them in the eyes.

'_A trick_,' the serpent hisses in my ear. '_Trickery at its best. Come, old man. Join us, would you?_'

I am afraid, rose. I am afraid of what I cannot see.

Are you blind to us? The ones you left behind to chase after lost dreams. The ones who loved you… no, _still_ love you.

Are you content, rose? Are you content with your distant shore, the people you love and the hearts warmed by your smile?

'_The dead do not have hearts. I do not have a heart. She is gone—gone away like my mind. Am I mad, old man?_' he asks me. '_All the best people are mad. Are they? Why won't you look at me? No, don't! Don't—don't look at me, old man._'

I cannot protect him. I cannot fulfill your dying wish because I am weak. That is what they, the serpent and the mad one, tell me.

'_Get you to the Door_,' the mad one purrs. '_Get you to a land where fools are kings and monsters are praised. Get you there, old man, and tell them what I have done._'

I can only watch as he retreats within himself and continues to mutter. The serpent slithers about my neck and sighs.

'_Our time grows short. Why not make it last? Why not, say… visit an old friend?_'

I think I am dying, rose. The mad one feels it, I know—why else would he tell me to see you?

'_Curse her name,_' he sobs one night. '_Curse the white lady for taking my heart—heart! I have none…_'

The serpent sighs again; he sighs just like you, losing a bit of his life with every breath.

'_We best leave_,' he tells me. '_There is naught else we can do._'

I am trying to save him, just like you asked. Even then, with all my efforts, he will fall into madness. If even fools cannot make him smile, what can I do?

I am old, rose. I pray that the white lady will be merciful and let me see you one last time before I am cast into the sky.

'_There is much to be done,_' the serpent says to me. He is looking rather bleak these days. '_So much. So little time. We will wait and see. Won't we?_' The serpent smiles. '_You look weary, old man._'

He is right. But I will not leave; not yet.

There is much to be done.


End file.
